Hey fam, guess what? 😆 Me and Jackie went on a wild adventure to catch a ham thief we thought was a sneaky new cat in town! 🕵️‍♀️🐱 Went to a sushi place, dog salon, even sipped milkshakes. Turns out the ham was at Jackie’s house all along! 🤣 Had a great day, but maybe we should try being detectives again some other time. 😅🕵️‍♂️ Woof! – Little Potato 🥔

Listen to the story here.

So, anyway, there I was, standing in front of Pawsitively Purrfect Pet Store, when old Jackie bounces up to me. And I mean really bounces – that bulldog could hardly contain herself. You know Jackie, right? Lovable. Infectious energy. A heart as big as Upper Black Bulldog Bay. A little stubborn, sure, but aren’t we all?

Now, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea because it’s not like I got a grudge or anything, but there was this incident, see. Someone in the good old Spencerville had been eating Jackie’s precious slices of ham, and folks, she was hopping mad – you’d think they’d swiped the remote to her car or something. That kind of vengeance was simmering beneath her white, brown-spotted pelt like a pressure cooker.

Jackie figured it had to be that new cat in town, the one with the sneaky look in its eyes, like a criminal planning a heist, you know? Can’t trust those felines. So, we came up with a plan to catch the notorious ham-thief and teach ’em a lesson.

Our first stop was The Cat’s Meow Sushi. “You see,” Jackie said, scrunching up her furry brow with thought, “if there’s one thing cats love more than ham, it’s fish. Right?” I had to nod in agreement. Genius, she was.

We swaggered into the joint, our presence causing a slight, almost imperceptible tension. Canines and felines sharing space was an exception, not the rule, but Jackie wasn’t going anywhere. “Two tuna rolls, please,” she ordered. The feline cashier stared at us with wide eyes, her fur bristling just a touch.

We took a seat and waited, keeping our eyes peeled for any suspicious whisker-twitching, tail-swishing characters. One cat was chewing a piece of roll with his mouth open, but that was about the extent of the lawlessness. A Capers of Spencerville, this was not.

As we left The Cat’s Meow Sushi, Jackie adjusted her plan, and our next move led us to The Dapper Dog Salon. “If there’s one thing cats love more than ham and fish, it’s shiny things,” she exclaimed.

At The Dapper Dog Salon, we sought out the sparkliest dog collar we could find. Jackie bought it, adorning herself like a bulldog Christmas tree, waiting to dazzle the cat criminal into surrender. Instead, she attracted a pack of hypnotized poodle admirers, fawning over her glitz.

Our final attempt took us to The Bark Shak. And Jackie, God bless her bones, declared with finality, “If there’s one thing cats love more than ham, fish, and shiny things, it’s milk!” So we sipped on strawberry milkshakes, keeping our eyes peeled on the alleyways, anticipating our outlaw cat to come out at any moment.

Well, here’s the punchline: the cat never showed – they never do, do they? Eventually, we returned to Jackie’s house, where her family had prepared a celebratory feast for our valiant efforts. We chewed and reflected on this wild ride we embarked on. And what do you know? The very ham we set out to avenge was sitting on a spotless kitchen counter, waiting for us the whole time.

To my dying day, I won’t know if Jackie knew about that ham or not, but the crazy thing about revenge is that sometimes it takes you on a wild goose chase when in the end, the thief, the offender, was in your kitchen the whole time. But hey, now I know what catnip feels like.

The End.