“Dad, snuck into Pawsburg tonight. Ate steak strips at The Barkery, tackled Beatzie in tug-of-war, battled blow dryers at Pampered Pooch Salon, and even braved a veggie wrap (once!). Recounted my adventures spent living the doggy dream at the Chow Hound Café. Life’s a hoot, wouldn’t swap it for a bone! Tail wags, Teddy Bear.”

Listen to the story here.

Alright then, sneaking through the moonlit garden gate with an air of mystery, I’d begin my adventure. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m some sort of secret agent – no, not me, Hercules! I’m an English Bulldog, for dog’s sake!

But oh, Pawsburg! The name alone gets my tail wagging. Located just beyond consciousness for humans, this dreamland for us four-legged creatures is where we gather when our beloved humans doze off. Trust me, this place is not your ordinary dog park – it’s hoot!

First pit stop is always The Barkery, where I treat myself to my beloved steak strips – a gastronomical delight that would send any canine tail on a relentless wagging spree. No vegetables, please, not for me. I’d effectively turn my back at a sign of a single pea.

After my royal breakfast, I strolled through Lower Golden Gate Gardens, my red and white coat gleaming brightly under the sun. Often, I’d play tug-of-war with Beatzie, she always puts up a good fight. Trust me, the girl’s got spunk! It was during these lighthearted tugs when I’d break into barks of laughter, their echoes reverberating throughout the walls of Corgi Castle, making Queen Corgi cast a stern look at us – what a riot.

Once, Margaux tricked me into entering the Pampered Pooch Salon. Fancy blow-drying and massaging? Not my thing! I comically had to scamper out of the place with my tail between my legs, all my mates barking with laughter.

One time, I remember the guys thought it would be hilarious to scare me with a sound amplifier from Pawsitively Purrfect Pet Store. The loud noises – they’re my nemesis! I nearly jumped out of my fur. Oh, the chuckles Boss and Tank had that day. I swore revenge, so I sent an anonymous package to Tank, mimicking our dreaded delivery person – who knew he was so petrified of the mailman?

All said though, my pack – they mean the world to me. They knew my quirks, witnessed my weaknesses, but they always had my back. Being alone? It’s the pits! But my squad, they ensured I never felt it.

Our favorite joint for a midday refuel is always the Pup ‘n’ Go Taco joint. Oh! The delicious chicken aroma wafting just…I mean, words fail me here. And once, only once, Beatzie tricked me into eating a veggie wrap. The sheer embarrassment still makes me blush! But hey, a dog’s gotta eat, right?

Those moments – of community dining, shared laughter, and mischievous adventures at East Pug Palace or during our style disasters at Doggie Daycare, they were priceless. And as the daily shenanigans wrapped up, we always ended our day at the Chow Hound Café, swapping tales of valor, sharing wisecracks, living the wholesome dog life.

This is the tale of Hercules, me, a noble English Bulldog – a lover of all things soil, a hater of veggies, ear pokers and loud noises, the life and soul of elusive Pawsburg, living the dream, one day at a time. Indeed, one wild, rib-tickling, tail-wagging day at a time.

The End.