Hey Dad, ran into Zach who had a wild tale about UFOs at Fetch!. We played detective across Pawsburg, almost fried in the Dalmatian Desert but saw a saucy UFO. No worries, back home now, prepping for a bath and a vet visit with the lovely Christine. Oh, the thrilling Bulldog life! Paws & licks, your Sherlock Bones.

Listen to the story here.

Now, listen to this, there I was, Nelson—the coziest English Bulldog this side of Pawsburg, sitting rather comfortably on my favorite shoe, the left one from the pair—don’t ask me why there’s just something about the left one. I was relishing a plate of my favorite… ah, beef, ground that is, tossed with some dry food—it’s an art form, I tell ya. That’s when Zach, the notorious Golden Retriever strolled in. He’s my buddy, but always dropping by unannounced, just like a bad rerun.

“Hey, Nelson,” He barked, his tail swishing around like an overly excited windshield wiper. “The toys at Fetch! are floating around like UFOs!”

I squinted at him. “What, they’re having a sale?”

He groaned. “No, genius, there are no strings attached. It’s levitating!”

I tell you, the things you hear in Pawsburg. One time, he swore the bones at Bow Wow Bistro were singing Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody.

“Well, we can’t have our favorite toys wandering off to the stratosphere, can we?” I put on my detective collar—a stately garment from Canine Couture Clothing, mind you—and set forth.

First stop, the Choco Chihuahua Castle. You see, rumour had it that a couple of Chihuahuas were practicing witchcraft. Eh, sounds more like a B-Movie plot to me. We looked high and low but found nothing more suspicious than a green soccer ball. Huh, that wasn’t there the last time, was it?

We then traversed through the Yellow Tan Dalmatian Desert. The glaring sun was turning me into a grilled sausage. That’s when I spotted it – a strange silver disc flashing through the sky. “Ho-ly, that’s…that’s saucier than the Pup-Tastic Pizza special sauce,” I managed to say.

“Bet you a Pup-Cake, that’s our UFO.” Zach winked.

But do we lay down in worry? Nah! Back we walked to Pawsburg, dignity intact, ready to face the new day’s absurdities—Okay, and maybe to get that bath I’ve been dreading. The world isn’t perfect; you gotta expect some sludge to get into the machinery.

Oh hey, I think I see Christine! She makes vet visits as comfy as a belly rub. Now, if I can convince her that I heard a rubber duckie quacking Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony… Ah, another day in the exhilarating life of Nelson, Pawsburg’s loveable quasi-detective. What more could an English Bulldog ask for, eh?

The End.