“Hey Mom, big day at Shih Tzu stadium – call it the ‘Greyhound Gala’. Came in all king-like, ladies made grand entrances. Meals were served, a bit of drama with a pool suggestion. But your boy stood tall, didn’t pick a lady, happy with my pals Moosey, Piggy, and life in Spencerville. Signing off, Ralphie the Super Lurcher”

Listen to the story here.

Alright folks, gather round and lemme fill you in on how things shook down, the day our beloved Ralphie held court at Shih Tzu Stadium. Call it ‘The Greyhound Gala’, show of the century, whatever rings your bell.

The pork-steak-loving, cat-averse Ralphie, y’see, he was the most eligible bachelor in all of Spencerville. This wasn’t some canine shindig, I’ll have you know, there was drama enough to fill a lifetime. So, off to Shih Tzu Stadium we trot, the single spot, crowned by our majestic hero, waiting like a king to be courted.

When the trumpets heralded his entrance, you bet he was beyond dashing. The wind played with his fur, whispering adventures of a beach at Black Bulldog Bay and a hiking trail through a forest only God knows where. There he sat, Moosey and Piggy keeping him company, comfort against the onslaught of melodramatic entrances.

Take Benjie, our neighborhood Collie, entering on a surfboard from Brown Boxer Beach, his dreadlocks waving like flags of hope, the swagger, oh my! Then there was Pixie, a right posh Poodle, parading her stuff, straight from the Catwalk of Canine Couture Clothing.

But there was no standing before Ralphie’s family. Graeme and Luna, they clean up real nice; standing on the side lines, resolute and dignified, there was no avoiding the sentimental spark in Ralphie’s eyes when he glanced their way. Loyalty, you see, mattered to our boy.

Meals were served from Chow Hound Café – Ralphie’s favorite, of course – sausages, chicken all for Ralphie, while from Whiskers and Wings came plates laden with lamb, carrots, and broccoli for the willing contestants. The sight would have been immortalized in a poem, if dogs wrote, mind you.

Ah, how can I forget the sheer panic that ensued when someone, let’s not name poor old Fido, suggested a visit to a pool? There was a scramble, Ralphie making a break for it, his plush companions left stranded in the chaos. It was pure, unadulterated pandemonium.

At the end of it all, Ralphie stood tall, a hero to remember. He chose no one, mind you. He didn’t need companionship forced on him by a show. He was quite happy with Moosey and Piggy, the fellow Greyhounds, and freedom of Spencerville.

And so, it ended, the grand saga of ‘The Greyhound Gala’, Ralphie, King of Spencerville, fending off the ladies like a true hero. Maybe, just maybe, there’s a lesson in there for all of us.

Alright, rest your teas and biscuits, for our tale ends here, leaving Spencerville submerged in happy chaos, most eligible bachelor Ralphie basking in his victory.

The End.