“Hey Dad, a day in Pawsburg looks like this: Morning runs at silver summit, chats over Canine Carnivore at lunch, fashion critique at Barking Boutique, window shopping at Fetch! & near miss with water at East Bulldog Bay. Now, call it a night with the trusty tennis ball & nightmares of lisping lurchers with veggies. Bulldog alternative to your typical day? You bet! – Hof, the Amiable Bulldog.”

Listen to the story here.

As usual, the people have gone again, leaving me in my kingdom of beloved solitude. But this is not a tale of simple solitude. No, no, it’s a tale of a dog’s adventure into the clandestine, enchanting Pawsburg. I am Hof, your storyteller for the day, an amiable bulldog with definitive dislikes and several reasons to wag my tail with unabated delight.

“Mornings in Pawsburg usually get started at the crack of dawn. I find myself at the Lower Silver Siberian Summit, feeling that fresh dewy grass under my substantial bulldog paws, my nose filled with the essence of morning freshness and impending adventures. Of course, my trusty tennis ball is never too far away. Battle-scarred and nobly chewed, it’s a prized gem in a dog’s paradise.

“Around noon, once the sun is high, I wander over to Sniff ‘n’ Snack, an eating oasis for all of us. One whiff at those beef chunks soaked in pure divine gravy, aptly named The Canine Carnivore, and my tail yaps in delight. Here, we share tales of the day, tails wagging fast enough to start their own orchestra.

“Suddenly, I remember my midday appointments. Hastily, I gulp down my prime feast, bid my furry fellows a hurried goodbye, and dash off. Slowing down by The Barking Boutique, it’s time for the biennial inspection of the latest in canine couture. I don’t know who told those folks at the Boutique that a bandana is the height of fashion, but they’re dreadfully wrong!”

“By golden sundown, I’m at Fetch! Toys and Treats, browsing through a sumptuous variety of rubber bones and squeaky hamsters. After all, there’s no harm seeing what’s new in the market. And then I meet them! A bunch of them bounding towards East Bulldog Bay, carrying a gargantuan green frisbee under their chins. Well, I can’t resist a good game, can I?

“Yet as we near the bay, my heart tightens. The water…ugh, water. Remember what I said about definitive dislikes? That’s it, right there. A pool is a terrifying puddle of endless wetness. What if their frisbee lands in there? So, I make a perfectly bulldog-like decision. Tail tucked between my legs, I turn around and hightail away from there.

“Eventually, during the loamy stillness of post-dusk, I find myself back in my cozy earthly residence, my gold-like tennis ball between my paws, memories of Pawsburg still shimmering in my brain. The beautifully brindle canopy of night wraps around me as I forgo consciousness, dreaming about my next day in Pawsburg and – oh no, not the lisping lurcher with the vegetables. Ugh, vegetables. Well, nightmares are part of life, aren’t they?”

So, folks, I leave you with my day, unabridged and amusingly honest. As you humans might say, it’s a dog’s life in Pawsburg. And to you, goodnight!

The End.