Hey Dad, ur fav Bulldog became Pawsburgh’s prankster! Strolled into Bark & Bites on steak-Tues, but bad steak turned me on a revenge mission.. to a cat restaurant. Prank-called ’em with ridiculous orders. Town laughed, my vengeance became comedy. What a day! Lol – Wilmont

Listen to the story here

Ah, the audacious tale of Albert, my old mate in Pawsburgh. Let me tell you, it’s no run-of-the-mill Bulldog’s breakfast. What’s that you ask? Well, sit down, pour yourself a Paws-A-Latte, and make sure Grogu is tucked into your lap comfortably.

It was a warm Pawsburgh morn, birds singing, sunshine bathing Beagle Beach in all its glory. The day seemed rather ordinary until we stepped paw into Bark and Bites. Now, I thought Albert would do his usual – order up a feast of corned beef, nerf down a vanilla ice cream and maybe, just maybe also devour steak if it were a Tuesday – which it was. You see, he has aversions too, lettuce and shrimps, the mere sight of these and he would hightail out. Well, the corned beef and vanilla ice cream were up to mark, but the steak… let’s just say it wasn’t what Albert expected.

The rumour was, Fetching Feline’s Mischievous Mutt – a cat-owned restaurant – was behind the steak debacle. Ain’t no insult worse for a Bulldog than getting a bad stake from a place run by cats. Moved by the strange steak scent, Baker, all the way from Oklahoma, started sniffing around. Even Lil Rosie could not divert Albert’s vengeance – not even with her company or her comforting wagging tail. The normally jovial and chummy Albert was now a Bulldog on a mission.

Albert, Baker and I charted a course to Fetching Feline’s Mischievous Mutt to teach those feline-favouring chefs a lesson. Our plan was simple, tip ’em off with fake orders and then laugh as they scrambled around preparing food for non-existent customers – the perfect revenge for our steak sabotage. Albert was all grim-set jowls, but Lily – bless her heart – stood at a distance wringing her tiny paws.

All set, Albert phone in the first prank order. “Good evening,” he said in a fake posh voice, “I want to order ten boxes of lettuce wraps filled with shrimps and a side of vacuum cleaner dustings… for pick-up!” That ought to get them scurrying.

Perhaps Albert didn’t realize it then, but his revenge had turned into a comedy instead. Not ours, mind you, but for the entire of Pawsburgh, which found this pranking Bulldog a hilarious spectacle. Even Lil Rosie couldn’t help but roll on the floor, laughing along with the rest of Pawsburgh. Revenge, they say, is a dish best served cold. Or in Albert’s case, perhaps laughter is the best revenge.

Despite not delivering his valuable lesson to the felines or avenging his ruined steak, Albert became the town’s beloved prankster, a position he wears with proud wrinkles. It was, indeed, quite a day in Pawsburgh.