“Hey fam, crazy day at my dog salon. Usual Spencerville snooze turned Orson Welles real quick when an UFO (Unidentified Flying Object. Or Frisbee, who knows?) showed up. Even the Frenchie Volleyball squad paused. Ugh. In this town, the promise of a good tale trumps my sacred siesta. Stick around for the next episode of Larkinator investigates. PS: Still boycotting lettuce. – Larkinator”

Listen to the story here

Brace yourself for just another peach-basket day in Spencerville, your average pet paradise. There I was, Larkin, manning my quiet corner at ‘The Dapper Dog Salon’. I peered out past the curtain of bouncing locks, my usually stoic gaze gave away a hint of puzzlement at the fresh anomaly in town.

And remember, anomalies and I don’t go together like steak and potatoes. Much like the nauseating roar of a vacuum cleaner, a deviation from the everyday might as well set me off on an unwelcome adventure. Like that time, Sadie, my snappy schnauzer cousin and partner in mischief, thought it’d be fun to switch our Barkmas outfits. She looked laughable as an English Bulldog, and me? I don’t even want to talk about my schnauzer escapade.

Between you and me, I was content enough with my patch of sunshine, my sturdy family roots, and unarguably, the simple pleasure of savory kibble, bless the soul that invented bacon grease. After all, who needs the odd edges of the uncanny when the comfort of the familiar is right on one’s doorstep?

As I said, just another day draped in Spencerville’s love-soaked serenity. That is until this oversized Frisbee thing started floating around Boxer Beach. At first, the sight made me jump, well, at least as much as an English Bulldog can jump. I mean there I was, a pet-loving soul enjoying my routine Spencerville siesta when life decided to throw an Orson Welles radio drama in my orbit.

As the Frisbee whizzed, zig-zagged and hovered, a group of spellbound French Bulldogs all but abandoned their Beach Volleyball tournament, more intent on watching this strange intrusion. I didn’t share their captivation, and yet, there was something unnerving, something…intriguing. Spencerville was many things, but boring wasn’t one of them.

Marching on to ‘Bow Wow Burgers’ for a hefty plate of distraction, I knew I had to stick around. In Spencerville, you see, the promise of a good story trumps a wayward bulldog’s disdain for anomalies. With Sadie trotting by my side, I dug into unpredictability with the same vigor I devoted to denying lettuce its place on my menu.

Going by Spencerville lore, something strange was about to happen. I could already hear the town’s pet tongues wagging with speculation. And me? I was just Larkin, an English Bulldog roped in the center of this doggone mystery. If only I could tell them, in my world, the strangest thing was a day stripped of Sunbathing and tug-of-war.

But for now, I’ll stick around. Because a bulldog’s got to do what a bulldog’s got to do, and that’s how we roll in Spencerville.

The End.