“Hey, ’twas just a regular day at Pawsburg, you know? Sky knocked out by Mighty Mutt shakes, Rosie hungover from a night at Doggy Delight. Me? I’m leading a revolution against carrots with my tatty old soccer ball, surrounded by drunks and dreamers. Don’t let anyone say a dog’s life is dull. Jasper out. #doglife #PawsburgDrama”

Listen to the story here

I’ve been told, mates, that a dog’s life is expected to be dull. Chase balls, run after squirrels, mess up the carpet, and sleep most of the day – no intrigue, no mystery. Well, I’d wager my favourite chew toy that they’ve not been to Pawsburg or met the likes of me, Jasper.

‘Twas a regular Tuesday, or as regular as they come. My mates, Sky and Rosie, were laid out under the freckled dawn like a pair of threadbare rugs, the sun cresting over Western Labradoodle Lake. Rosie stirred, her chocolate fur glittering, mumbling about her late-night escapade at the Doggy Delight, the haute-cuisine spot in town.

Sky, teetering near unconsciousness from the excess of Bark ‘n’ Roll’s Mighty Mutt shake – made from genuine Vermont Cow Milk, I hear – just groaned in response. I grinned. Classic Sky behaviour, that. Finishing my breakfast, a healthy portion of Whiskers and Wings’ lip-smacking roast beef fetched fresh from our top-secret supply a certain gourmet friend had managed, I snuck a glance at the pristine array of untouched toys in my basket, electing to stick with my trusty, battle-torn plush soccer ball instead.

And then it hit me.

No, not a ball. An idea. The kind of idea that ignites your tail like a sparkler on a bonfire night. Dashing towards the Yellow Tan Dalmatian Desert, I could feel the sands of destinies moving, shifting beneath my paws.

We live subtle, clandestine lives us dogs, you know? There wouldn’t be Pawsburg if we didn’t. But we surely do have a flair for the dramatic when it counts. We’d taken it in our stride, paw-say, to safeguard our beloved town from ill-meaning folks, or particularly cunning cats. And of course, carrots. The nefarious evil, they dared tempt us with their deceptive colors. They were gathering, plotting against us. Why else would they litter every corner of our town, lurking in the shops of Doggy Depot and Woofy Bakery?

So there I was, scurrying off to the pivotal ‘Anti-Carrot Resistance Meet’ at the Fawn Pug Palace. A stout Boxer like me, armed with a withered plush ball against mankind’s least desirable root, bravely positioned at the forefront of a dogged food revolution, if you will. Pure, unadulterated, tail-wagging excitement, right?

“Jasper, you’re a sight!” cried Rosie, as Sky attempted to feign consciousness, “Leading us into war with a chew toy, really?”

I wagged my tail in affirmation, “What fun would it be otherwise, Rosie?”

Like I said, mates; a dog’s life? Dull? I think not. It’s a wondrous world, it really is, if you’re courageous enough to sniff it out.

The End.