“Hey Mom, just another day in the life of Mr.P. So, here’s the scoop: Giant broccoli rampage at Fetch-N-Bites! I rallied good ole Melvin the Dane & Carlos the Chihuahua and together we eliminated the veggie threat. We’re top dogs in town now! P.S. Not trading my chicken kebabs for bravery medals anytime soon! Woof ya! – Pawsburg’s Protector, Mr.P 🐾”

Listen to the story here

Errm.. Hi there, I’m Pemberton, your favorite, and quite possibly the most awesome black tripawd pug you’ve ever met. In case you’ve been sleeping for the past decade, hang around as I take you through a typical day in my life.

I was just off to my morning stroll, a little light cardio, you know? So, there I was, hobbling jauntily down the cobbled streets of Black Bulldog Bay. The salty air was all around, wrapping me up like a Chinese dumpling – which by the way, does a number on my heart, those squishy devilish playthings.

Then boom! The unthinkable happened. I spotted a gigantic broccoli looming over Fetch-N-Bites.

“Holy schnauzers!” I yelped. That vile green monster was the bane of my existence, and now it held my favorite hangout hostage. This was some alien tomfoolery, right there.

For a split second, I considered approaching ‘the-vet,’ but I remembered the ear cleaning that still caused deep-rooted phobias. I wasn’t about to add PTSD to my list of dislikes. Instead, I hurried to the Pawsitively Purrfect Pet Store, they’re always good for a laugh. Dashing in, I deadpanned to the bewildered crowd, “I lost my leg battling an oversized rogue broccoli in ’09”. It was a joke, of course. I lost my leg under much less dramatic circumstances, but we needed to lighten the mood.

Gathering a crew, I called Melvin the Dane and Carlos the Chihuahua. What we lacked in stature, we sure made up in sheer big-dog courage. We were a rag-tag group, but we had our eyes on the prize – a city free of predator vegetables.

As we neared Fetch-N-Bites, I realized that my favorite chicken special would never taste the same if that humongous broccoli defeated us. A resolute sigh escaped me as I gazed at our enemy.

The strategy was simple, play dead, covertly approach the enemy, then face the monster head-on. That, and an elaborate series of whistles and butt-sniffs, was our plan.

And I kid you not, we did it. Though I’ll never tell how, that’s a secret between me and my squad. But let’s just say, milestones are not often reached on four legs. By the time the sun began to set, we triumphantly trotted back onto Tan Dalmatian Desert, our task was complete.

Where was the owner, you ask? Dozing, probably. The place was in chaos, but by Monday, you’ll never know a giant broccoli invasion took place. We’re good at cleaning up our messes.

In retrospective, from just an ordinary three-legged pug, I had transitioned to become Pawsburg’s broccoli fighting beast. And so, my day ended, as it always does: leaning on my family, dreamily reminiscing my adventures, and yes, munching on chicken kebabs. Life, as I knew it, was already exciting, I mean have you ever tried playing fetch with three legs? But taking down monstrous veggie aliens was a cherry on the cake – you know, if I happened to like cherries.

And that’s just a day in the life of me, Pemberton, the one and only Pug of Pawsburg. Good day, folks! Catch you on the flop side.

The End.