“Hey Human, it’s your free-spirited dachshund, Ruby B. Took an impromptu night walk to Pawsburg, survived a brush with the spooky zombie squirrels, and had a gala time with Snooper and Wiggles. PS: Got some tennis ball biscuits. All is well in our chewed-up town, even if it has too many oranges. Woof, Ruby Begonia.”

Listen to the story here

The evening air was dense with the scent of an impending adventure. I cast a wary eye at my snoozing human—whose drool puddles were mildly entertaining—before making my covert escape to Pawsburg. As a dachshund of free spirit, the confines of ‘indoors’ never quite did me justice. Also I heard that Pawsome Pancakes had their signature tennis ball-shaped biscuits on sale.

I passed the Black Bulldog Bay, eerily peaceful tonight. My ears perked at the slightest sound and my tail stood rigid. Not that I was scared, you understand. But nights in Pawsburg had a flavor of unpredictability. One wag of adventure could spell the difference between a good romp in the park or a mad dash from zombie squirrels.

Yes, you heard that right. Zombie squirrels. Nasty critters. Yet, when they’re seen munching acorns in a tree, they look as harmless as an orange. I shivered at the thought of oranges. Terrible things they are, those oranges.

Making my way to Northern Choco Chihuahua Castle, I hoped to find Snooper and Wiggles there. While I heralded myself as an independent Dachshund, companionship did only make sharp turns of life a trifle less metallic to digest. Because, let’s face it, nothing brings dogs closer together than plotting ways to outwit flesh-craving squirrels. It was more common a pastime in Pawsburg than you would imagine.

The Castle loomed—really more of an old shoe factory that some brave Chihuahuas occupied and staged a coup d’état—but Snooper and Wiggles were not in sight. Perhaps they’d already made it to Pawsome Pancakes. Wiggles was particularly partial to the bacon slabs there. Not my tennis ball biscuits but to each their own.

With a hurried trot, nearly a gallop, I made it to Western Husky Hill. The Hill offered a panoramic view of Pawsburg. And right there, underneath the dim neon glow of the Doggy Donuts sign, I spotted Snooper and Wiggles.

Chuckling to myself, tail wagging in camaraderie, I felt a moment’s peace alongside weary companions sharing an unusual evening, framed by the whimsical, erratic, slightly chewed silhouette of Pawsburg. It was pleasing, despite the looming threat of overzealous, nut-loving corpses.

But hey, that’s Pawsburg for you. It’s spontaneous and unpredictable, just like me. At the end of the day, it’s all tennis balls and caramelized pancakes. And I wouldn’t trade it for all the orange-free worlds in the cosmos.

The End.

Share This Story: