Hey!

Guess what? I just won the golden bone challenge on “Survivor: Pet Island” while braving a terrifying storm. Life in Pawsburgh is way crazier than I’d anticipated, but hey, nothing like a good adventure to get the tail wagging. Now, I could really do with a sausage from Chowhound’s.

Best barks,
The Thunder God aka Zeus

Listen to the story here

I’d barely got my paws dry from the ocean spray when I saw it; the silhouettes of Brando, Floyd and Luna just out of reach. They were perched on Malamute Mountain ready for another twisted game in Pawsburgh’s “Survivor: Pet Island.” Here I was, a chic Chihuahua named Zeus, entangled in a reality show rivalling that of my wildest adventures.

Slap me with a wet leash if I’m wrong, but I pictured Pawsburgh differently. Dog parties at Pointer Pier, shopping at The Snooty Snout Boutique, and here we are grappling at Malamute Mountain.

Our first challenge read, “Dig for the Golden bone.” Brando, a hulk of muscle and saliva, was in the lead digging rampageously, while Floyd was wagging his long shaggy tail, trying to make the best of the situation. Luna, too, was on her haunches, scheming with that clever little head of hers.

Being small has its advantages; I skulked around silently, sniffing out the specific scent associated with golden jewelry even though I mostly loathed things that didn’t smell like unwashed fur or sausages. Sausages, who dared to mention sausages? The delectable sound sent my thoughts reverberating halfway to Chowhound’s Chophouse.

Now, where was I? Ah, yes, sausages. No, no! The golden bone! A faint whiff had caught my nose. In my focus, I’d missed it, but soon, a pitiful yelp erupted from somewhere. A little dūlce far niente was in order, I thought winking at the high-tech camera crew filming us.

Meanwhile, as I celebrated my imminent win, Luna had also caught the whiff of the golden bone. It was a race to the finish now. But here’s the thing about cocker spaniels, they tend to have the attention span of a chew toy. Distracted, Luna made a beeline for Brando, abandoning the whiff she’d picked up. What a relief!

But that victory came crashing down when thunder echoed in the distance. Thunderstorms, my dreaded nemesis. Thunderclaps are synonymous with a fast-approaching apocalypse. Paws trembling, tail between my legs, I considered the nearest hideout.

The frightened, rumbling words fell out of my mouth, “Brando, help me! There’s a storm coming!” I never thought I’d be that rattled Chihuahua. For a moment, amidst my panic, I’d forgotten the challenge. The golden bone!

The heavy droplets, the boisterous rumbles, they all dissolved into the backdrop as the glint of gold caught my terrified gaze. Fueled by my fear of the storm and my love for adventure, I bolted towards the bone as if it were the last sizzling sausage on earth. Triumph in my eyes, the golden bone in my mouth, I met the thunderstorm head-on; it was time to conquer my fears. The thunderclaps became my applause, the storm rolling in the background, a romantic backdrop to my grand adventure.

I returned triumphant, golden bone secure as an emblem of my victory. Is there anything sweeter than victory served with a side of dramatic thunderstorm? Well, maybe Chowhound’s Chophouse’s sausages. Oh, how I’d kill for one now!

Life in Pawsburgh turned out stranger than fiction; it’s unpredictable, exciting, sometimes terrifying. But, isn’t that what makes each day an adventure? Especially when life gives you golden bones amidst thunderstorms. Just another crazy day of survival in Pawsburgh.

The End.