- Dog Tales
- November 24, 2023
Canine Chronicles: A Close Encounter of the Fur Kind in Pawsburgh: A Bailey PawWord Story
Hey hooman, 🐾 You missed the wildest day in Pawsburgh! Chartreuse skies, alien visitors, and me, Bailey, the Goldendoodle diplomat, saving our turf with a tail wag and some pad thai diplomacy. Think galactic visitors meet doggy decorum, with a no-veggies-allowed policy. 🚀🍗 Town’s still buzzing. Max is jealous; Luna’s proud. Normal day for your fur-hero. 😉🐶 – Bails
When the skies of Pawsburgh turned a peculiar shade of chartreuse, a lot of us tail-waggers thought it was merely an extension of the magical charm our beloved town typically exhibited. But there I was, Bailey, the sunny-coated Goldendoodle with an attraction to adventure just as robust as the scent of roasted chicken, about to encounter the doggone strangest day of my life.
I trotted through Weimaraner Woods, my ears flapping like the sails of a ship caught in the wind—each flap broadcasting my excitement—when suddenly, a craft descended through the trees. It was not the usual biplane with that noisy pilot Fido attempting loop-de-loops. No, this one hummed—a hovering disc with lights twinkling like the collar LEDs we sport at Shiba Inlet’s annual Disco Bark Ball.
Now, in the wise words of Luna, the old shepherd who’d seen more seasons than there were treats in my jar, “When the unknown comes barking, you don’t cower under the porch. You sniff it out!” So, of course, I approached the craft, senses on high alert—a blend of curiosity and the promise of a story that would give Max next door a run for his bones.
The hatch unfurled with a hydraulic hiss, revealing beings peculiarly void of fur and profoundly sparing in the leg department, wobbling on their two spindly supports. They brought with them a language that wasn’t so much spoken as it was artfully arranged honks and toots—a regular symphony of vehicular flatulence. But conversation was not on my agenda, as my Goldendoodle diplomacy kicked in, I took a stance. With a tail stiff as a new leash and a bark that echoed through Pawsburgh like a call to kibble, I asserted our sovereignty.
“Look, you two-legged intergalactic oddities, this is Pawsburgh—our turf! And unless you’ve got pockets bursting with roasted chicken, I suggest you bounce back to the Milky Way or wherever your galactic kennel is!”
Surprisingly, these aliens understood the universal language of assertive tail-wagging and took a respectful (albeit floaty) step back. It all went well until one of them presented what looked like an interstellar green bean. The nerve! My snout executed the most eloquent of wrinkle-ups, my eyes aghast with betrayal. Hadn’t they seen the sign at the outskirts of town? ‘Leave your veggies at the border.’
An alliance needed to be formed, quickly and with gusto. To Paw Pad Thai we dashed, the savory scent of canine cuisine surely a better welcome than chlorophyll sticks. The aliens, they tentatively nibbled on pad thai noodles and, by Luna’s old bones, they beamed with a joy uncannily similar to mine when I conquered the infamous squeaky chicken—and for a moment, there was harmony.
Our newly-forged peace didn’t last long before we had to part, but as their ship rose like an unwanted bubble in the town’s bathtub, the dogs of Pawsburgh rallied. At Spa for Paws, we groomed each other to look our best, exuding confidence, for who knew what other worldly visitors might descend upon us?
“So long, and thanks for all the pad thai!” I barked, the words felt Adams-esque in their absurdity—a fitting farewell to the oddly endearing two-leggers.
Max and Luna joined me at the Bloodhound Bluffs to watch the ship vanish into the cosmos. It was agreed: we’d just had a close encounter of the fur kind.
As the twilight painted the horizon with strokes of dusky gold, I wondered if those aliens would share tales of their adventure in Pawsburgh. For here, every woof is an epic, and we, the noble Goldendoodles, Beagles, and wise old Shepherds are the heroes of every outlandish escapade.
The End.
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