- Dog Tales
- November 24, 2023
The Pawsburgh Heist: QA and the Leash of Lassie: A QA PawWord Story
Hey there, just thwarted a heist at The Barking Boutique. Outsmarted the Siamese cat gang, saved the Leash of Lassie, and left them gift-wrapped for the cops. Just another night in Pawsburgh keeping tails wagging. Catch you at sunrise? đđž
– QA, the Enigmatic Pup Detective
The moon was a sliver of a silver biscuit in the Pawsburgh sky when I, QA, a lady not given to easy scares, found myself padding down Bichon Boulevard with a sense of trepidation. The neons flickering above Rottweiler’s Ribs cast long shadows on the cobblestones, like bars of a cage I couldn’t see.
I had gotten a tip from Tilly the terrier, her voice hurried and hushed over the bone-phone, about a heist planned at The Barking Boutique. They said someone was going to lift the legendary Leash of Lassie, a priceless piece if there ever was one. Now, I’m no saint myself, but in Pawsburgh, we play by a set of rules. You don’t filch what’s not yours and the Leash of Lassie? That belonged to the ages.
Stepping into the dark alley beside Mastiff’s Meals, I spotted a familiar shape. “Evening, Rumble,” I greeted the colossal mastiff, who was trying to look inconspicuous and failing.
“QA,” he rumbled back, his voice deep as the Blue Basenji Bay at midnight. “Heard about the heist?”
I chuckled low. “That’s why I’m here. Got any leads?”
He nodded toward Pup’s Poutine. “Heard whispers. It’s the Siamese cat gang from Carter City. Tonight, they’re coming in dressed as Chihuahuas. Cute but deadly.”
I left Rumble to his shadows and trotted on, squeezing the squeaky hedgehog in my mouth for luck. I wasnât scared, you understand. Just cautious. My pawsteps were soft whispers as I moved with the nightâs rhythm.
The Barking Boutique was up ahead, its windows alive with silhouettes of collars and fluff-filled beds. But something else was alive in there tooâmovement that wasn’t just a dog’s playful tail.
I made my way in, thankful for Ms. Beatrix’s daily agility exercises. Inside, the air hummed with tension, like the moment before a thunderstorm. From a row of Chihuahuas in trench coats, two pairs of feline blue eyes met mine â the Siamese were revealed.
âLooking for something, darling?â I growled, my voice as smooth as a quality kibble.
The cat on the left, the leader I presumed, hissed. “Just a walk in the park, love. A shame you wonât be joining us.”
Now, Iâm a dog that enjoys a good chase but prefers a smart outwit. There was no out-chasing a Siamese; itâs like trying to out-bark a Beagle.
âTakes guts to pull a job in Pawsburgh,â I said, inching closer to a heavily perfumed perfume bottle on a nearby shelf. “But you missed one thing. This is dog territory.”
Before the cat could blink, I knocked over the bottle with my tail. The overwhelming smell of ‘Eau De Bone’ filled the air. I heard the scrabble of claws on tile as the Chihuahuas turned tail. I smirked â it was like sprinkling pepper on a pickled herring, completely wrong.
Out in the street, the moon had slipped behind a cloud, and the Siamese, with their feline agility and senses dulled by the perfume, were making a break for it. The game was up, I thought, hearing the distant sounds of Pawsburgh’s police sirens.
By the time the cops arrived, I was lounging on a newly-acquired, plush doggy bed by the door, my beloved squeaky hedgehog beside me. I gave them a tip of my paw, indicating the struggling Siamese beneath a net of chew toys.
“And to think,” I told the officer, a portly bulldog I knew as Sarge, “all I wanted was a quiet night and a chat with an old friend.”
He looked at me, a grin across his jowled face. âQA, youâre a, uh, what’s the word…â He scratched his ear with vigor.
âEnigma, Sarge. The word you’re looking for is enigma.”
I left them to sort out the mess, a cheese-flavored victory in my heart. Pawsburgh was safe once more, and I? I was already dreaming of my next escapade, my spirit dancing like moonbeams on the tranquil waters of Blue Basenji Bay.
The End.
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