Hey hooman! You missed my epic day as Pawsburgh’s bravest Princess! Led my furry crew in an Indiana Bones adventure underground, seeking the Lost Bone of Barklantis. Got more tails to wag than I’ve got paws! Home safe, ready for belly rubs and treats. Adventures await! 🐾👑 – Princess

Listen to the story here

Oh, you wouldn’t believe the kind of day I’ve had. It started as another impeccable morning in Pawsburgh, but oh, how quickly things can tailspin into a fur-raising adventure!

Picture this: I’m Princess, the Old English bulldog with the heart-shaped eye patch (adorable, I know), and I, along with my merry band of doggie friends, was off to a rollicking start at Onyx Otterhound Oasis. It’s the kind of place where you can let your ears down and just be yourself.

But here’s where it gets interesting. Bruno with his trusty map, Lily—grace embodied on four legs, and dear old wise-drooling Rufus had concocted a plan to find the legendary Lost Bone of Barklantis. It was supposed to be a simple dig—dig, find, wag tails, go home. Simple, right? Well, not so much.

We dug alright, nosed our way through mysteries and mayhem, and before we knew it, the ground gave way to adventure—quite literally—as we tumbled head-over-paw into a cave. This was no ordinary cave; this was the entrance to a hidden world beneath Pawsburgh, a bygone realm where the whispers of the ancient doggo ancestors echoed.

None of us had ever heard of it, so of course, being the charmingly curious canine that I am, I suggested exploring. After all, who’s afraid of a little subterranean mishap? Okay, fine, maybe a tiny, smidge—an atom’s worth of a smidge, really.

We navigated through shadowy tunnels, guided by the torch-like glow of my blue dragon toy’s squeaking, wing-flapping brilliance (did I mention it’s my absolute fav?). It wasn’t exactly Shepard’s Shawarma, but the echoes down here made our barks sound positively gourmet.

We stumbled, sniffed, and slobbered through stony corridors until—whoosh!—a sudden slide sent us skirting down a slippery slope into a vast, cavernous belly, dumping us onto an island smack dab in the middle of an underground lake. Yes, an island! A proper, full-on deserted one with no sight of Snout Snacks or The Barking Boutique. Absolutely barbaric conditions for a lady of my breeding.

Our little group huddled together. This was our ‘Lost’ moment. No magical ferry back to Terrier Town or Vizsla Valley. Just us and our wits—and Rufus’ distracting slobber.

We needed shelter, food (no peas, thank heavens), and a squeak-free plan. I assumed leadership naturally because, let’s face it, with a gaze as noble as mine, who could resist?

The first thing was building a makeshift dogloo, with Bruno’s maps as insulation, while dispatching Lily to survey the land with her graceful, athletic zooms. Meanwhile, I provided motivational barks and tail wags, ensuring morale remained high and mighty, like my sideline cheerleader days—sans pompoms and more drool.

Days turned to nights and back again. We dined on the unfamiliar but scrumptious lake critters (note to self: suggest lake critter flavor at Mutt Munchies on return). Rufus, with his vast cask of knowledge, taught us the art of patience and slobber navigation. I was a quick study, nailing the ‘nod and drool’ in mere seconds.

But as it is with all tales of bravery and squeaks, our big break finally came. In a moment of squeaky toy-induced inspiration, I discovered a hidden current beneath the water. A watery trail leading out? Maybe. Worth a shot? Absolutely.

With dogged determination (pun intended), we constructed a raft from discarded bones and twigs, set our sights on home, and paddled with the gusto only a stranded canine could muster. Our journey back to Pawsburgh was arduous, thrilling, and would surely require a deep-conditioning treatment at The Groom Room.

And so here I am, back on my porch with the elderly gentleman—my human—narrating my tale of survival, companionship, and underground islands.ii He listens, enthralled by every ruff and ready detail, his laugh rumbling like my own personal round of applause. As for my friends, they’re planning the next grand escapade, because in Pawsburgh, adventure is just a sniff away.

The End.