- Dog Tales
- December 9, 2023
Gravy Tales: Bear’s Adventures in Pawsburgh: A Bear PawWord Story
Hey Paws-pal, it’s your fabled gravy-hero, Bear! Just saved the town from swimming in The Great Gravy Deluge. Rescued a pug pudding, steered a terrier toast-boat, and twisted off a gravy gyser. Us pups can now enjoy a town stew better seasoned than a Thanksgiving banquet. Stay pawsome! đž – Big Bear
One could say I am known in Pawsburgh for my equanimity. Why, even when the Great Squirrel Migration rattled the roofs of Terrier Town, I maintained my composure, a gentle giant amidst the chaos. But thereâs one particular incident that has tinged my snowy fur with the shade of legend, and it began on an unassuming day down Pearl Papillon Promenade.
âTwas a Tuesday, or perhaps a Wednesday, though the day matters less than the events unfolding, when my dear friend Angus, the aforementioned Jack Russell full of more fizz than a shaken soda bottle, dashed to my porch with news that set his whiskers twitching.
“Bear!” he barked, his voice an octave above composure. “The Great Gravy Deluge has struck Pawsburgh!”
Now, one must understand that in a town as charmingly carnivorous as ours, such news was bound to stir the pot, if not lick it clean. I rose, feeling the duty of an adventure tug at my heartstrings, and followed Angus towards the epicenter of calamity.
Our first stop was Fido’s Feast, which had been transformed into something reminiscent of an ill-planned culinary amusement park. Gravy flooded out the doors in a rich, savory torrent, dogs of every shape and size frolicking in the liquid luxury that now coated the cobblestones of our proud town. Disasters in Pawsburgh were never quite devoid of a certain joie de vivre.
I waded through the Gravy Gulf, doing my utmost to appear neither flustered nor tickled by the situation. With dignity, I salvaged a terrier adrift on a loaf of garlic bread, deposited a duo of dachshunds from atop a buoyant beef rib, and retrieved a pug stuck in a particularly stubborn Yorkshire pudding.
Having ensured the safety of my smaller comrades, I sought out the source. The Woofy Bakery, my snout informed me, was the Ground Zero of this meaty mire. Inside, the sight that greeted us was a scene veritably bulging with Thurberian fancy. A colossal vat, ostensibly designed to supply gravy for the entire year’s Dogsgiving celebration, had ruptured at its seams.
Add to this the formidable figure of Mrs. Pawsley, the townâs golden-hearted Mastiff matriarch, tackling the breach with naught but a thimble and a prayer. Her efforts, while valorous, were akin to using a cocktail umbrella in a typhoon.
“Mrs. Pawsley,” I howled over the pandemonium, “we must turn off the gravy at its source!”
She cast a gaze upon me, her eyes twin lighthouses in an ocean of gravy. “Bear,” she bellowed, “youâre a sight for sore eyes!”
Together, we plunged into the depths of the bakery, Angus yipping encouragement as we navigated the surreal gravyscape. We reached the control valve after what might have been minutes or mere dog minutes, time being a rather silly construct when compared to the urgency of a gravy blockade.
With a herculean twist, courtesy of yours truly, the deluge ceased. Pawsburgh exhaled a collective sigh of relief, or perhaps that was merely the sound of the last globs of gravy plopping lackadaisically onto the street.
In the aftermath, Poodle’s Pasta offered noodles to compliment the glutinous flood, Canine Cuisine provided biscuits to soak up the remnants, and Best in Show Photography immortalized the saucy spectacle. As for the Tail Wagger’s Tailor, they were quite busy crafting a line of gravy-resistant capes, foreseeing the market trend.
Ah, my lovely Pawsburgh, where even a disaster doesn’t dare dampen the indomitable spirit of its canine constituents. And I, Bear, once more, lived to fetch the tales.
The End.
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