- Dog Tales
- December 29, 2023
Chicken and Spaceships: Tales from Pawsburgh: A Bobby PawWord Story
Hey, it’s Bobby – that intrepid Jack Russell-Chihuahua mix! 😎🐾 Just saved Pawsburgh from an “invasion” where aliens drooled over our grilled chicken rather than our planet. We’re now interstellar party hosts with a penchant for pawfection. Who knew my bark could broker galactic peace treaties over a shared love of chicken? Space diplomacy is ruff! 🚀🍗✌️ – Bobster
In the illustrious and occasionally mysterious town of Pawsburgh – a town which has a knack for sneaking under most radars, not least because it’s exclusively populated by the canine species – adventure was always more than a wag of a tail away. And it was here, in the heart of Pawsburgh, your reliable narrator and protagonist, Bobby, found himself entangled in a tail… I mean, tale, of interstellar proportions.
I had just completed an invigorating trot through Garnet Greyhound Grove when I overheard the barking of rumors about something peculiar at Emerald Eskimo Estuary wherein no tail had wagged before. It throbbed the air like the scent of a thousand grilled chicken pieces laid out on a banquet table. Pup’s Paella and Beagle Bagels stood abandoned, their scents obliterated by an aroma of intrigue and… molten mozzarella? Earthly descriptions fail me.
My pals and I roasted chicken by the pond when Max, ever the wise one with ears that heard between lines, growled softly, “You feel that rib-rattling vibration, Bobby?”
I did. It was like a million squeaky toys orchestrated by a cat, a sensation as foreign as carrots on my dinner plate. It grew stronger by the nibble.
“The humans have a word for this — ‘tremor’, they call it, but this isn’t Earth’s doing,” Bella chimed in with her refined yap.
Indeed, it was not. For just as she spoke, a menacing shadow blanketed the Junction, and what descended upon Jade Jack Russell Junction was no crane lifting supplies for The Groom Room or soaring fetch toys for The Dapper Dog Salon. It was a spacecraft, sleek and gleaming with an iridescence that I could only describe as vying for attention like Whiskers during a game of fetch.
As the ship landed with the grace of a cat stalking a laser pointer, we were met with beings so bizarre that they made Whiskers look plain. Their eyes mirrored the lure of Pooch’s Pub on trivia night, and their appendages… well, they had more than we could shake a paw at.
Their leader, Zog (a name I’ve affectionately given based on the sounds construing their introduction), fixed their orbs upon me and with a translator gizmo making Zog sound less interspecies tyrant and more soothing narrator recounted by a campfire said, “Greetings, Earth Pooches. We come bearing treats of universal flavor!”
An alien invasion! Here in Pawsburgh — but one that involved culinary delights instead of the expected chaos and backyard digging.
“We crave not the conquest of territories, but the golden-brown succulence of your famed grilled chicken,” Zog wagged what could have been their equivalent of a tail.
There I stood, the Jack Russell-Chihuahua mix savior or dinner host, depending on one’s perspective. And with the fate of Pawsburgh’s delicacies seemingly in my paws and at the mercy of my decision-making, which usually revolved around optimal napping spots, I knew only one response.
“You wish to ‘break bread’ with us?” I asked, giving Max a sidelong glance.
“If by bread, you mean the consumption together of foodstuffs, then yes,” Zog twirled a shiny appendage, drooling as much as me during my chicken dance.
With a rally of barks and a unanimous vote excluding Whiskers who rolled her eyes, we ushered our guests to a table at the Pooch’s Pub, where galactic alliances were formed over shared plates, not battle strategies. Earthly or not, we all agreed, our love for chicken, grilled to pawfection, was universal indeed.
So, dear reader, when next you regard your dog lost in a distant look, perhaps they’re merely recounting the latest escapades from Pawsburgh… or planning an intergalactic menu. Who’s to say?
The End.
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