- Dog Tales
- January 22, 2024
The Pawfect Pastry & Pup Prodigy: Tupac, the Frenchie, AKA The Petfather: A Tupac PawWord Story
Hey pal, just another night in the fur-coated underworld of Pawsburgh. I settled some chew toy disputes, put Anton in his place at Collie’s Cuisine, and even ensured my niece’s boutique is on track. It’s not all dog eat dog; some of it’s about keeping the pack together. Catch you when the sun’s up and the vacuums are at bay. – Tupac, The Petfather
I bore a name that suggested gangsta rap and street cred—Tupac, the Frenchie. But within the clandestine corridors of Pawsburgh, I am known as The Petfather, striking a balance between commandeering the chew toy trade and discussing fine dining at Barking BBQ in civilized tones. I had just finished convincing a squirrel—he wasn’t a real force in the market, mind you—to find another park to play nuts in. A small fry, but it was these small fries that could grow into a veritable fish-n-chip shop of trouble.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, and humans, none the wiser, tucked themselves in, Pawsburgh came alive to the sound of clawed feet trotting towards freedom. Ah, freedom—something I revelled in as I made my escape through the bake shop’s flap door, under the sliver of silver moonlight.
The streets, bathed in the luminescence of lamp posts, led me to Pinscher Plaza, where a gathering of the top dogs awaited. Among them was Duke, his muzzle white with the wisdom of his years. “Tupac,” he barked with respect, “we’ve a situation at the Collie’s Cuisine. Seems Anton’s been serving a side of attitude with the kibble.”
Anton, not a collie but a Chihuahua with a Napoleon complex, understood the necessity of collars; he just didn’t think they applied to him. We approached Collie’s Cuisine to address this transgression, the hubbub of the eatery growing quiet as we pushed through the doors. Eyes followed me to Anton’s cozy corner where he chewed defiantly on a bacon strip.
With all the decorum of a bulldog, I plopped down, my bat-like ears framing my sternest business face. “Anton, your bark has been louder than your bite lately.” He sneered, his canine-sized ego bruised. “Tupac, this empire of yours is starting to smell like… wet dog.”
Oh, how the upstarts tested your nerves. I let out a discrete yawn, suggesting the apparent insignificance of his challenge. “Anton, my empire is like my chew toy—well-loved and non-negotiable.” Rubber chicken, my dearest confidant, would have agreed.
The chit-chat and business concluded with the promise of peace, so I took to the cobblestone streets, surveying my domain with the satisfaction of knowing everyone had a place—even Luna, who preferred Briard Bridge for her moonlit escapades.
Topaz Terrier Town was my next stop; a little family business needed tending. My niece—a Spitfire of a Spaniel with dreams of designing doggie attire—intended to open The Snooty Snout Boutique. “Uncle Tupac,” she begged with big brown eyes, “I need your ‘blessing.'”
It amused me how alike the dog and human worlds could be, sewn together with favor and fear. “You’ll have it,” I nodded, “But remember, family is pack, and pack is business.”
As I sauntered back to Elsie’s, I reflected. My pawsteps echoed—a finite metronome in the orchestration of Pawsburgh’s illicit nocturnes. There was a delicate balance to it all: affairs and affections, bacon and bargaining, toys and territorial rights.
Alas, the break of dawn was near, and with it, the specter of the vacuum cleaner’s haunting revilement. That gnawing roar would stay at bay as long as I was nestled within the sun-kissed sanctuary of the bake shop. Elsie might be clueless about my nightly escapades, but she kneaded the dough that fueled me, humming tunes of unconscious encouragement.
‘Twas a dog’s life in Pawsburgh, and despite the occasional lemon, I wouldn’t trade it for all the tennis balls on Earth. With a final glance at the slumbering town, I entered home, where my affections lay as much as my dominion. All in a night’s work for Tupac—the Frenchie with the finesse of a Petfather and the heart of a pastry-lover’s companion.
The End.
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