- Dog Tales
- April 26, 2024
Pawsburg P.I.: The Case of Citrusgate: A QA PawWord Story
Hey pack leader, it’s QA here, your fur-covered Holmes. Just cracked the case of Citrusgate. Kept our tails wagging and bowls citrus-free. Pawsburg can sleep tight tonight. Keep your snout clear and your curiosity sharp. Over and out, Detective Pawfessional. đžâ¨ #NoLemonNoCry
So it goes, the life of a dog, but not just any muttâI’m QA: canvas of night sky fur, with the wisdom of an ancient, gentle being draped in luscious gold. Pawsburg, that’s the slice of canine paradise where my paws patter, a place of pure doggy doggerel and escapades.
It was a Wednesday when the escapade beganâor was it a Tuesday? Time twists on Bichon Boulevard, doesnât much care for conventions. Licking my chops after a day of sniff-worthy indulgence at the Bark-n-Bite Bistro (the chicken there makes the angels sing, I swear), I caught wind of the buzz rambling down Jade Jack Russell Junctionâsomething was afoot.
Benny, the nose-privileged beagle, was nosing around in Sniffer’s Sandwiches. “QA!” he barked, eyes wide with a secret. “Luna’s stirring the pot at Basenji Bay, says there’s something rogue, something… untoward.”
Luna, that collie, carried herds of stories, but tales of treachery? That was fresh meat. I followed the beckoning wag of Benny’s tail, intrigue nipping at my heels, each step one closer to the clandestine underbelly of Pawsburg politics. We werenât just dogs anymore, we were pupils in a grand game of four-legged chess.
As we jogged past The Woofy Bakery (resisting, with great Herculean effort, the allure of bacon-sprinkled cupcakes), Benny filled my ears with whispers of espionage. “Pawsburg’s Treat Treaty’s been tampered with, QA. Someone’s been smuggling in citrus. You know, the no-no nectar.â
Barks and blasphemy. My gut churnedâcitrus was my kryptonite. The thought of it pushing into Pawsburgâs palate was worse than a squirrel outsmarting me on the daily chase. The Treat Treaty kept our borders free of the bitter sting, our pantries safe for sensitive snouts.
We surged toward Basenji Bay, where Luna stood, her silhouette cutting a stark figure against the evening’s rising moon. She was speaking to Pawsburg’s upper crust, the movers and shakers, the alphas of every backyard. “We must take paws and ponder,” Luna’s voice echoed, lilting with the rhythm of reasoned alarm. “Who would do this? Whose claws are soiled with citrus?”
This wasn’t my usual playground. I pawed at the ground, feeling the weight of the wind. “Luna,” I began, the names of potential perpetrators dancing on my tongue, “could be anyone. But we’re not in the dark entirely. Follow the citrus, and we’ll find our mongrel.”
Nods bobbed among the crowd. It was a plan, maybe not the best, but it was something.
We sniffed out trails, scoured corners, and interrogated every bark we could. Soon, The Doggie Daycareâs latest rumors pointed to the unexpectedâthe kindly clerk of The Pawsome Pet Pharmacy. He’d been spotted, hurrying behind Bark Buffet, a bag of what could only be contraband lemons in tow.
Citrusgate, that’s what Benny later called it as we cornered the clerk.
“Why?” The question was mine, the betrayal stinging worse than the tang of lemon.
The clerk licked his chops nervously. “The humans, they’ve started adding lemon zest to everything. I thought perhaps…â
âPerhaps what? To give us an acquired taste for treachery?â I growled, keeping my prose as even as possible. Vonnegut wouldnât have wanted me to be too hard on the guy.
The clerk’s tail tucked between his legs. “I thought maybe it could be a new start.”
“A new start on shaking paws with chaos,” I said.
In the end, we restored the Treat Treaty, ousted citrus with ceremony. Pawsburg was safe again, the tapestry of our tales untouched by the sour bite of betrayal. Tomorrow, there would be more stories, shadows to chase, truths to sniff outâbecause in Pawsburg, every dog has its day, and sometimes, that day demands a dose of detective work. So it goes, for a dog named QA in a magical town that never stops wagging.
The End.
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