Hey Mom and Dad! Just a quick update: I helped some lost puppies find their way home and even made a few new friends along the way. Feeling pretty heroic, if I say so myself. Can’t wait to see you guys soon! Woof! 🐾 – Ony Extra

The moon hung like a dog biscuit in the sky, full and tempting. Tonight was the night Pawsburg would witness an escape attempt to go down in history. The particularly unfortunate soul was yours truly—Onyx, the dog they call “Ony Extra” on account of my zest for life. All because of a mix-up involving a pair of chewed slippers that incidentally belonged to the town councillor, Mr. Sniffy.

“Knickers and gnawed bones!” I swore under my breath, surveying the cold, dank interior of the Pawsburg Animal Shelter. My black and white fur did little to stave off the chill, especially with the draft that sneaked in through the barred windows.

My friend and confidante, an overzealous pug named Percy, had snuck me in a saucer of Pup’s Poutine just this afternoon during visiting hours. Food, glorious food. But let’s put whining aside; plotting an escape was top priority, even if my love for Percy was as big as my love for those delicious fries drenched in cheese curds and gravy.

I stretched out, my white front right paw catching a glimmer of moonlight. That flicker sent my mind hurtling back to the moment this all started. Playing fetch up in Hound Heights, digging holes in Akita Alley—life was good, until the councillor’s slippers met their untimely demise.

“Got a plan?” barked Buddy, my bulldog brother, as he appeared through the shadows like a clandestine message.

“Is a squirrel’s tail fluffy?” I replied. “We’ll scale these metal bars, sprint past The Mutt’s Meow, and regroup at Jade Jack Russell Junction.”

Buddy chortled. “You’re in a mood tonight! You’d think we were after the holy grail of chew toys.”

“You underestimate my nick for the dramatic,” I retorted, loyal as ever to my flair for theatrics.

Summoning all the courage my doggy heart could muster, I nudged open the makeshift latch Percy told me about with my snout. The creak echoed louder than a thousand barks. We bolted, our paws pitter-pattering across the shelter floor, hearts thrumming like a drum line in a Fourth of July parade.

We weaved through The Mutt’s Meow Pet Supplies, dodging stacks of squeaky toys like seasoned sprinters. “Remember Ony, it’s the blue ball you like, isn’t it?” Buddy chuckled, his voice filled with the kind of camaraderie only shared by lifelong mates.

By the time we reached Jade Jack Russell Junction, we were breathing heavy but triumphant. The junction was the lifeblood of Pawsburg, bustling even at this ungodly hour. The smell of kibble and adventure filled our lungs as we caught sight of the bouncer at Retriever’s Restaurant—Buster, a bullish Mastiff with a penchant for nosy questions.

“Not so fast, mutts,” Buster growled. “What brings you here?”

“We’re just… uh… heading to Dog’s Delicacies for a midnight snack,” I fibbed, tail twitching with a nervous tremor.

Buddy snorted. “Oh, Ony Extra, here’s another fine plan gone haywire.”

But luck favored the bold in Pawsburg. Just then, Bentley, my other bulldog brother, distracted Buster with a shiny bone—his favorite trick. We raced down the alley, out of the hustle and into the sanctuary of our beloved lake. A sacred spot where our deepest guilts and greatest joys floated away on the ripples.

“Onyx, you nut!” Bentley barked, his eyes twinkling. “Caught in another caper?”

I let out a bark of laughter, affectionate and affectionate, as always. “What can I say, my playfulness gets me into trouble, but it’s my loyalty that gets me out.”

Our misadventure made me appreciate my brothers, the quirky denizens of Pawsburg, and my never-ending, undying love for blue balls and Pup’s Poutine. Tonight, we had broken free, not just from bars but from the shackles of misunderstandings. And as the moon dipped and dawn approached, I knew tomorrow Pawsburg would hear tell of an English Bulldog’s great escape—one wild, wonderful, barely-believable romp that would be recounted in sniffs and woofs for years to come.