Hey Dad! So, it turns out sniffing out missing socks and herding squirrels actually made me the neighborhood hero! Everyone’s calling me a “tail-wagging detective” now. Who knew this nose could do more than just find treats? 🐾 Woofs, Testy 🐶

Well now, sit yourselves down, ’cause I’m ’bout to regale you with a tale as curious as a catfish, even though it’s about a dog—and mind you, not just any ordinary dog, but yours truly, a Labrador of the highest order, if I do say so myself. Ahem, allow me to introduce myself; they call me Test Dog, though if you ask me, it’s not the most creative handle one might muster for a model of my illustrious caliber.

I woke up one fine morning on a soft, fluffy cloud—which I didn’t rightly recall falling asleep on—and found myself in a fanciful place known far and wide as Spencerville. A jittery realm dedicated to our kind, where departed pooches all find themselves struttin’ about, waiting on our humans who decided not to kick the bucket just yet. Quite the fine arrangement if you ask me.

Now I wouldn’t trade my days in Spencerville for all the beef jerky in the world. Why, just yesterday, I was sashayin’ my sleek fur, a Labrador hue that would make a sunset blush, amongst the exquisite blossoms of the Lower Golden Gate Gardens. Let me tell you, there ain’t no place more grand for an evening jog or perhaps engaging in a game of fetch with the squirrel residents—degenerates, each and every one of ’em, but mighty fun to chase.

Lawd, the sights and sounds of this town are enough to make any hound bay at the imaginary moon. My first stop was Whiskers and Wings, a restaurant where they serve up delicacies so divine even the pickiest pooch would lick the china clean. I’m fond of the Duck a l’Orange Doggy Special, ’cause it’s the only place that serves a dish fit for a canine of my delightful taste. Though I must say, The Bark Shak is where the fashion-forward dogs like myself hang our hats—or collars, as it were.

Each morning, adorned in my most dapper collars, I head on down to The Pawsome Pet Pharmacy. Been told the paw balm they sell there does wonders for the fur, and I must keep my coat as slick as the floor after a spilt gravy accident. My reputation as Spencerville’s finest Doglander cannot be tarnished by split ends and scruffy paws, now can it?

Participating in Fido Fashion Week at the illustrious North Chihuahua Castle was no small feat either. The competition was fierce, mind you, what with all sorts of breeds strutting around, some clad in the fanciest dog apparel known this side of the Rainbow Bridge. Still, no one wore a frou-frou snood quite like yours truly.

The folks back in life, particularly my dear ol’ dad, rest assured, I miss him more than a bone buried three years too deep. We’ll be united sure as fleas follow fur, but until then, I make the most of my charming canine existence here.

So remember, though I’m now an otherworldly member of the “over the rainbow” (otrb) crew, I’m living my best eternal life, keen on adding flair to my already legendary persona. ‘Til next time—a few emails later or so—I’ll continue dazzling the clouds above Spencerville, wagging my way through the comical chaos that only a life away from humans can bring.