“Dad, funny story. Took a nap, woke up to some Godzilla vac threatening town. Flew in like a fat Superman with Barkley as Robin. Our barks broke it down. Now they call me Defender of Spencerville. Hilarious, huh? – Hamburger Jones Jr.”

Listen to the storyhere.
Have I ever told you about the time Russell saved Spencerville? You know Russell, right? The dashing Brindle English bulldog whose coat camouflages perfectly in the autumn season? The one with the danger-defying bravery, which almost matches his peanut butter addiction? Yeah, that Russell.

Alright, so here’s the scoop. One sunny afternoon in Spencerville, after a rambunctious play session—with, you guessed it, Muggsy—our portly hero fell into a deep slumber by the Southern Golden Retriever River. Now, everyone knows Russell’s naptime is a sacred time, to be disrupted at one’s peril. But that afternoon, evil was afoot.

Down in the city center, right next to Bow Wow Burgers, this terrifying monster was making its grievous debut. It hummed louder than a militant queen bee and looked akin to a trash bin on speed—it was none other than a mega vacuum cleaner. Russell’s worst fear come to life.

Now, despite being in a food coma by the riverbank, Russell has ears like a hawk, if hawks could hear well…which they probably can, right? The moment that the dreaded hum reached his ears, he was awake faster than you can say “peanut butter.”

With a heart even larger than his appetite, Russell made for the city. His inner superhero kicked in, and he was like some sort of chunky, stubby-tailed Superman. Barkley followed suit – you remember Barkley, don’t you? That English bulldog, or put it better, the Robin to Russell’s Batman.

Anyways, you could almost hear the iconic superhero music blaring in the background as they thundered down North Chihuahua Castle, bumping into street stalls and doing their best to avoid innocent bystanders. The scene was pure chaos…and I’m almost ashamed to admit it, hilarious.

As they arrived, Russell let out a mighty ‘Wuff!’…or ‘Roof!’…or whatever it is that bulldogs bark. It was as though he was injecting a dose of courage into every pet in Spencerville. Without wasting any time, he leapt at the menacing, dirt-sucking monstrosity, Barkley hot on his heels.

Now Russell had no plan, as you can imagine. But, believe it or not, his barking, coupled with Barkley’s, sent waves of sonic vibration to all the vacuum cleaner’s mechanical faults. The tiny tremors weakened the beast from within. It hummed, it coughed, it could barely keep its footing.

And then, with a particularly one hell of a howl from both Russell and Barkley, the vacuum cleaner monster went still. It had been defeated. The dust was settling, confusion was replaced by cheering, bones were chewed in joy, and our victorious heroes panted happily in the middle of it all.

And that was the day our Russell, the best Brindle bulldog a dad could ever ask for, became the defender of Spencerville. The tale didn’t stop at Spencerville though, no whisker-twitching, tail-wagging, pet-loving town will ever forget the name Russell.