Hey Mom,

Just crushed the Great Emerald Eskimo Estuary Games – won the Slobber Sling, aced the Gourmet Gauntlet, and survived the Aquatic Anomaly (without turning into a schnauzer submarine)! Brace for bragging rights because your girl’s going to be immortalized in the Furry Friends Art Gallery. Call me Zia, Queen of the Triathlon, chewer of plush toys, and the tail that wagged itself into legend! 🏆🐾

Catch you at the victory lap,
Z Meatball

Listen to the story here

In the kaleidoscopic town of Pawsburgh, where every corner smells intriguingly of adventures yet to be sniffed out, I, Zia, a miniature schnauzer with a penchant for plush Reese’s bars and competitive sporting, present to you the tail – I mean, tale – of the day that will forever wag in the annals of dogdome. It was the day of the Great Emerald Eskimo Estuary Games.

As the purveyor of joy and a connoisseur of fetch, I remember it was a morning when the sun gleamed off my black coat like it was trying to outshine the sleekness of my fur. I had left the comfort of my human’s abode, making her believe that I was off for a routine scamper in the park. But today, my paws had plotted a course for glory at the annual sporting fiesta in Pawsburgh.

The Emerald Eskimo Estuary was abuzz with the competitive spirit, a place where terriers and retrievers alike donned their game faces. Today’s competition? The Triathlon of Tail-Wagging Triumphs. I’d heard tell in my quests through the Woof and Whisker Wellness Center that the winner would be immortalized with a portrait in The Furry Friends Art Gallery. Ye Gods! To be framed amidst the greats of dogdom!

Event One was the Slobber Sling Shot, a sport where drool met skill. As the crowd barked and howled, I stood at the mark, my precious Reese’s bar clutched between my teeth. “Remember, it’s not just about the slobber, but the trajectory,” mumbled Brutus the Boxer, the reigning champion—his words barely discernible through the saliva-drenched ball in his mouth. He was right, of course, but little did he know of the hours I’d spent in my backyard, calculating the perfect angle for toy tossing.

The whistle blew, and with a mighty heave of my schnauzer jaw, I launched my treasured toy through the air. It sailed, cutting a parabola through the air as elegant as any equation – and land it did, far beyond any other soggy missile. I triumphed in the first event!

But my trials were not over. Event Two was the Gourmet Gauntlet, a race that tested speed, agility, and one’s discerning palate. I raced through the obstacle course, spurred by the aroma of chicken treats delicately placed to tempt the contestants. I scoffed down my beloved poultry snacks, giving other types of treats not even a cursory sniff – a schnauzer knows her chicken! My performance was, if I may say so, impeccable.

It was the third event that posed the greatest risk to my furry aspirations—the Aquatic Anomaly. Whoever heard of a schnauzer eager to dive in the waves with the enthusiasm of a Labrador? Not I, Zia, thank you very much.

Nevertheless, with the encouragement of my newfound friends from Basenji Bay and Topaz Terrier Town, I steeled my nerves. As the starter’s pistol boomed, dogs leapt like canine torpedoes into the water. I, too, took the plunge, albeit with less grace and more of a belly flop. Water, it seems, is best experienced in manageable doses, though today, it was the plunge pool to potential greatness.

Wet, yet un-drowned, I emerged victorious once more! Gameness in the sporting arena isn’t always about natural affinity. Sometimes, it’s simply about not letting the pool know you’re scared.

Back at the Doggie Diner, pupperoni pizza in front, I recounted my tale to the mesmerized mutts of Pawsburgh. Oh, the tail-wagging, the barks of laughter, and yes, the slight shiver as I described the aquatic ordeal.

Let it be known to all of Pawsburgh’s pups that Zia, yes, I, the chicken-loving, Reese’s bar-toting miniature schnauzer of great renown, am now not only the keeper of chew toys, but the conqueror of the Estuary Triathlon. And so I’ve licked my way – quite literally – into the history books, my portrait poised to grace the vaunted walls of the gallery, forever capturing the essence of one playful soul’s day of triumphs.

The End.