- Dog Tales
- February 24, 2024
Rubber Chickens and Pawffice Politics: A Tale of Canine Commerce and Feline Folly: A Vlad PawWord Story
Hey Mom and Dad,
Guess who’s acing his role as top dog at the pawffice today? š¾ I’m strategizing a rubber chicken surplus into ‘stress busters’ at Paws and Reflect. Think of it as turning squeaks into perks! šš Also, made sure not to end up a doggy paddle away from adventure. P.S. Planning my great escape from bath day, wish me luck! š
Tail wags and woofs,
Vlad šāØ
Itās a pen-and-paper kind of morning, and Iām perched atop my cushy throne; they call it a bed but here in Spencerville, itās where royal decrees are madeāmostly involving extra treats and longer walks. A warm sunbeam coats the brindle fur on my back, and I stretch, marrow-deep, savoring the way the light makes a kaleidoscope of my stripes.
Iām Vlad. And if youāre catching my drift here, youāve probably seen me around.
Right off the bat, you should know itās no ordinary day in this four-legged fiefdom. Today, Iām heading to the pawffice.
Yes, you heard right. Weāve got a real nine-to-fiver going at “Paws and Reflect,” where Iām Regional Branch Barker. Think expert in people-petting dynamics, proficient in analyzing squeaky toy trends, a mentor in chewable ergonomics. It’s the heartbeat of Spencerville pet commerce, and I lead the pack.
*”Vlad! Momo! Meeting in the breakout room!”* Brittany, our front desk Beagle, howls across the room. Briefly, I consider the acoustics sheās working withāimpressive.
I spin around from my meeting with Felix, the Feline Accounts Manager, who’s been trying to convince me cats are poised to take over the economic mantle. Thatās a good one, Felix.
Momo, whoās as much an exec as I am a mountain climber, grins his way across the floor, his jaunt punctuating the chatter. Heās my brother, my consigliereāthe Wool to my Brindle.
Striding into the breakout room, every eye, nay, every whisker, is upon me. Demi, the dachshund from legal, is already seated, her paws neatly tucked under her. She’s the voice of reasonāor so she claims.
āAlright, so hereās the dig,ā I assert, hopping onto my designated chair. āWe have a surplus of rubber chickens, and I’m not just talking about a couple of squeaks over quota. We’re drowning in feathers here, people.ā
Zeus, ever the dramatist, sighs heavily. āWhatās the plan? A memo wonāt chicken-wrangle this one, Vlad.ā
āWell, my plan,ā I start, pausing dramatically because everyone deserves a dose of suspense now and then, āis a marketing pivot. We’re gonna rebrand those rubber squawkers as āstress busters.ā Genius, right?ā
Demi tilts her head. āThatās going to take a whole lot of convincingā¦ā
āBut convince, we shall,ā I bark out, standing tall. āRemember, every chew toy has its day. And if all else fails, we toss them in the lake at South Poodle Pond for the ultimate fetch festival.”
Thankfully, the stupidity of solitude isnāt a player hereāweāre a pack. A team. A bunch of suited and booted (well, metaphorically) butts in ergonomic chairs.
Nods ripple around the room like a waveāeven from the cat side of the table. We may not always fetch in the same direction, but today we’re unanimous. The rubber chicken saga of “Paws and Reflect” wonāt be our swan, or chicken, song.
And just like that, itās just another day at the pawffice. But more than that, itās Spencerville: where every alley is an adventure, each sniff a story. No matter the plot twists or pawffice politics, this is life with a wagging comma, not a period. Because, in the end, itās not about the rubber chickens or the ergonomic chew toys. Itās about pride, love, and waiting for the ultimate reunion.
Now, if only I can dodge bath day yet again. That, my friends, is the true cliffhanger.
The End.
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