“Hey Mom, it’s Harold. You won’t believe it, I’m living quite the adventurous life! Running the Barkless Brigade, a doggie motorcycle gang in Spencerville. It’s crazy! We rule this town, serving our pack & spreading joy. I miss Dad dearly, and his damn lawnmower too. But promise, I’m okay. Making best of every second, tail wagging alongside my pals. Love always, Harold The Hound.”

One minute I’m Harold, a brown wolf mix living the suburban life, chasing my tail, and watching my dad curse at the broken lawnmower – the next minute, I’m Harold, the canine kingpin riding into the sunset in Spencerville, a hog between my claws and wind blowing through my coat. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a wild world out there.

My buds and I make up the Barkless Brigade, the most notorious motorcycle gang this side of Pug Palace. We’ve got Pepper, a black lab, Penelope, our dynamite diva, even Smiley, Babe and Georgie have tagged along from the ol’ neighbourhood. Here, paws become gas pedals and tongues are the only flags we need.

Our turf, well buddies, that’s the heart of Spencerville – from the heights of Siberian Summit down to East Bulldog Bay. Kitchens to us are like free candy to rugrats – irresistible. Me, I’ve got prime seats at Paws-A-Latte, Kibble Cuisine and, oh boy, The Bone Appetit every day. Don’t let me start on the food! It’s like visiting grandma’s every day. Don’t believe me? *Burps* There’s your proof.

We keep ourselves groomed at Canine Couture Clothing and The Tail Wagger’s Tailor. The threads they cook up? You’d think you’d died and gone to fashion heaven, well, if you’re into that sorta thing.

All of this Spencerville jazz, though, it ain’t no pet paradise without its shenanigans. We run the town, sure, but rightfully so. We keep the riff-raff in check, make sure no one’s forgotten, and spread the word about our place to newcomers. No one gets passed unnoticed in our town. Not on our watch.

Sometimes, our tasks are as mundane as keeping cats away. Good thing we relish in it, given my preciously bitter disdain for those haughty furballs. Other times, we gotta deal with some serious malarkey from the shopkeepers who are convinced we startle and scare away their customers, even with our cool biker jackets on. They just can’t handle our cool, I reckon.

If this sounds like the high life, well, it ain’t half bad. But even the king misses home. I miss dad. I miss those cursed lawnmowers and the sight of him running me a bath that I’d always dodged. But hey, we’ll be reunited someday. Until then, I’ll keep running this town, serving my pack, ride into the sunset, and wait for the day Dad rides in from the other end.

Life in Spencerville ain’t no picnic, but for all the back-roads, boardwalks and bones, it’s worth every second. Every dog should have his day and here, in this tail-thumping town just out of reach of the rainbow bridge, that’s exactly what we get. So here I am, Harold – adventurer, food-lover, dad’s boy, friend – living life after life one tail wag at a time, pals by my side, promising protection to all under my rule. The Barkless Brigade rides again!

The End.