Hey Mom, Sugar-face here, reporting from Spencerville. It’s like a dogs-only Costco but with better food and no baths (score!) Missing my purple dinosaur but keeping busy with fetch at Choco Chihuahua Castle. I’m OK without my human, but hope you join me someday. PS: Heaven better be banana-free! Love, Kirby. 🐾

Listen to the story here.

“Well, here I am,” I thought to myself, “Spencerville, the place where good dogs—or a dog like me, at least—go when, let’s just say, they can no more take baths in the good ol’ physical realm.”

“Kirby, my man,” came the booming voice of Beagle Bob from Spotted Red Beagle Beach, “Welcome to the after-sniff. Glad you could make it.” I wagged my tail, grateful for the welcome and more than a little excited for the next chapter of my existence.

My initial inspection of the place revealed something distressingly ‘human-like.’ “It’s nearly perfect, Kirby. Nearly,” I muttered. But then it hit me – as the rich aroma wafting from the Yappy Yogurt restaurant, followed closely by the irresistible scent of Fur Tacos filled my nostrils. If there’s a place to gorge on delectable cuisines without having to barter with those pesky diet plans, it’s Spencerville.

Venturing towards the Bark and Bites, my paws unhurriedly led me to my next adventure—a gazillion dog-friendly shops! A lucky dog could get lost in the excitement. But, mind you, I’m not just a dog; I’m an all-white English bulldog with a personality as wide as Spencerville itself.

Even the distant sight of the Pampered Pooch Salon sent a chill ruffling my fur. The place no doubt offers elegant grooming, pristine trimming—the works. But, one might ask the question—does it offer a bath free experience?

And then, abruptly, an epiphany. I stood stock-still in the center of town, attracting curious sniffs and head tilts from passers-by of the canine persuasion and realised,—baths are of no threat here. No slippery soapy battlegrounds can hunt me anymore. I may have lost my physical realm but I certainly have won my war against baths.

I trotted to Choco Chihuahua Castle and played a round of fetch. Missed my purple dinosaur, though. But time, they say, is a great healer. Or was that about gnawing on a good bone? Ah, never mind.

The strange thing is, I’m OK here without my human. They were great, minus the bathing, but I know they belong on the other side of the rainbow for now. Spencerville is my home and one day, not today or tomorrow, but one day they’ll be here with me. Until then, the spirit of Kirby, goldfish cracker enthusiast and bath hater, lives on in endless adventure and bowls of Fur Tacos. I am certain of one thing though, there better not be any bananas in heaven.

The End.