“Hey Dad, just another day in Pawsburg. Led the pack to clear Pepper’s name from a theft charge at the Canine Café – turns out Lily’s untied laces were the real culprit! Risky but all in a day’s work for your Bulldog King! PS: Shrimp still sucks. – Big Herm”

Listen to the story here.

Sure, I’m Herman – the English Bulldog of Pawsburg, or as many see it, the King of Pawsburg! Just another day in my slice of doggy paradise.

“Alright folks, hold your howlers!” I’d bark, strutting up Lower Silver Siberian Summit. From there, you could see the whole of Pawsburg, from the Eastern White Westie Woods tickling the horizon, to the Southern Golden Retriever River weaving like a glittering leash through the town. “The King is in the house, paws together!”

Just a hop, skip, and a wag down from the Summit was the Pup ‘n’ Go Taco Joint. The chef winked as he saw me and immediately began grilling up a fresh batch of chicken. He knew better than to offer me shrimp. Even the thought of it turned my stomach.

“Here comes his Royal Highness!” chuckled Lilly, the Pug. As if on cue, Baker, my fellow Bulldog, nosed a monkey toy towards me. A game of tug-o-war ensued, and the sounds of our playful bickering were drowned by the raucous laughter of the other dogs.

Suddenly, Pepper, the black Goldendoodle padded into the taco joint. All turned quiet. Rumors were she’d been to the city and the dreaded desert and came back with a bleak look in her deep-set eyes. A shiver ran through my wrinkly back at the thought.

“You’ve gotta help me, Herman.” she whispered urgently. To everyone’s astonishment, out from her fluffy curls, she pulled a small, shiny object. “The humans think I stole this from the Canine Café.”

A gasp echoed around. Stealing in Pawsburg was a serious crime. It meant the Animal Shelter. The dread was real – think cages, miles away from Pawsburg around humans and their daft habit of constant ear cleaning. Besides, as you know, I hate being alone.

I won’t lie; the thought of it sent a tremor of fear through me. But I couldn’t let Pepper end up there. So, in classic Herman fashion, I rallied my troops, straightened my crown, and strode off the stage.

In true Prison Break style and with Mel Brooks-like jest, we planned our mission. Sniffing for clues at the Canine Cafe, trying to find Pepper’s alibi. The plan was risky, the path fraught with danger – or worse, loud noises. But I’m a Bulldog, tough and determined. And if that didn’t work, a great comedic timing was sure to distract the enemy.

In the end, we managed to clear Pepper’s name, proving that the theft was actually a mix-up with Lily’s ever-untied shoelace.

Settling back down for a well-deserved peanut-butter-free treat from Yappy Yogurt, I let out a long sigh of relief. Another crisis averted in Pawsburg, thanks to the Bulldog King and his loyal subjects! Life in Pawsburg? Never a dull moment, never a simple pleasure spurned, but for me, Herman, it’s just a day in the life.

The End.