“Hey Dad, epic day in Pawsburg! Laughed up a storm at Bone Appetit with Barney, gawked at some funky tomato art, sniffed out a treasure of squeaky ducks at the pet store & wrapped it up beachside, storytelling. All in a day’s work, eh? Life’s a hoot for your pup, Fat Herm!”

Listen to the story here.

[Opening Monologue]

“Life is Full of Surprises”

Morning sun leaks through the curtains, and I’m up. I, Fat Herm – a heap of charm wrapped in pugnacity and a dogged will to enjoy life. Kicking back on my favorite carpet, I await the riveting matter that will color my day. But wait, don’t expect me to jump. I am methodical. I am… Who am I kidding? I see chicken!

[Introducing Sidekicks]

Bring in Barney – a bouncy ball of mischief and Ginger – explorer extraordinaire, who knows the alleys of Pawsburg better than she knows her tail. The Bichon Frisé and Beagle. We make quite the trio.

[Into the Comedy]

Our first stop? Why, Bone Appetit, of course! Barney grins, chomping down a steak in what can only be compared to a toddler eating chocolate. He glances over, “Herm, why the long face?”

Answering a rhetorical question – surely not my ideal chomp hour conversation, “I’ve got a bone to pick with the chef. These tomatoes…” Comedic timing isn’t wasted on me.

After our doggy brunch, it’s off to the Furry Friends Art Gallery. Believe it or not, my rubber duck’s squeak has inspired a few modern sculptures here. But the centerpiece? A giant tomato. The irony, folks, is far from lost on me.

[The Twist]

Just as I am basking in the glow of our adventures, it’s a quick hop over to Pawsitively Purrfect Pet Store. A whiff of something winsome catches my nose, and the hunt is on. My head turns every which way, eyes scanning and my tail straight as an arrow. “Found ya!” I bark triumphantly, under a lofty stack of kibbles – a stash of squeaky ducks. My joy knew no bounds.

[The Finale]

Finally, evening finds us curled up by the swaying dunes of the Beagle Beach. Even Ginger can’t muster enough energy to explore. We did it for the laughs, but by day’s end, it’s just good to unwind. Over a sea of dog tales, my life here isn’t less than an earned bone.

And think about it, an English Bulldog, a Bichon Frisé, and a Beagle, walking into an art gallery. Now, isn’t that a sight! Goodnight from Pawsburg, my human friend – where service with a smile takes on a whole new canine meaning.

[Credits Roll]

– End of “A Day in the Life of Fat Herm” Episode –

The End.