“Dad, trotted down Boardwalk, passed Paws On The Grill, resisted temptation for Chow Hound Café’s vanilla ice cream treat. Got hassled by Beagle Beach goons & got hit by a flying onion from boutique-thieving elves! Ended the day chilling at Westie Woods. Pawsburg life’s a riot but wouldn’t trade it for anything. Home now, monkey toy on paw, ready to dream up the next adventure. – Willie Wonkavator”

Listen to the story here.

I trotted down the familiar path of Bullmastiff Boardwalk, my tiny red toy monkey wedged between my jaws. I’m Willie Wonka, without the chocolates, but with an insatiable appetite for adventure and cheeseburgers.

I passed Paws On The Grill. My stomach did a little jiggy – but then it does that every time it gets a whiff of grilled delights. However, I had to restrain myself, for I was headed to the Chow Hound Café. They make the best doggone vanilla ice cream in all of Pawsburg.

En route, I sidestepped a rowdy group from Beagle Beach; going out in the day has its consequences. You see, normally, I prefer to haunt the corners of Pawsburg under the moon’s cover, away from all the fracas. But an insistent craving for vanilla ice cream on a sweltering afternoon is not something any English Bulldog could resist.

For most parts, Pawsburg is a great place to live. Everyone knows everyone. A mélange of fur, tail wags and barks. Except for the vacuum cleaners. They’ve staked out a corner of the city and tend to rev up rather violently at unsuspecting passersby. Horrid, I tell you!

Just as I finished my ice cream and exited the café, I chanced upon my loyal sidekick Bake, also an English Bulldog, and Lilly, the Pug, everyone’s darling. Lilly squealed, “Watch out Willie, Duck!”

Before I could process her turbo-charged warning, an onion, of all things, bounced off my head. I yelped and dropped my toy monkey. Out of an alleyway, a band of mischievous elves, shoplifters from The Snooty Snout Boutique, scattered in guilty delight.

“There’s always one, isn’t there!” I grumbled. The universe certainly has a twisted sense of humor. The irony of it though – a doggie world’s hero assaulted by a kamikaze onion!

The rest of the day is a bit of a blur. Lilly coaxed me back to normalcy and we had a great time at Westie Woods. There were no shrill vacuum cleaners to ruin the quietude, just the rustling leaves and the occasional hoot from an owl.

And so, another day in Pawsburg drew to a close. Tucked in at my place, away from loud noises and rival dogs, with my toy monkey in my reach, and the magical aura of Pawsburg softly humming outside, I was home. It’s not always easy being Willie Wonka but it’s never boring. And that’s exactly how I like it.

The End.