“Hey Mom, landed in dog jail today. Was wrongly accused of making a ruckus at Bow Wow Bistro when it was a Pekinese who done it. But don’t worry, used my superb soccer skills to escape. Squad had my back, even threw me a party. Now savoring liberty and a ‘Welcome Back’ pupcup. Life’s ruff, huh?
– Lovebug”

Listen to the story here.

Our hero, Louie, is hardly an innocent in the traditional sense. He’ll paw at your last fallen French fry or snatch up your pizza crust when your back’s turned. So, when I found myself accused of causing a scene at Bow Wow Bistro (a claim as outrageous as serving cats in Pawsburg…utterly unheard of!), I knew I was the victim of some egregious mistake.

It all kicked off one fine day. With owner off to work, I took liberty to make my way to Pawsburg squeezing under fences, hopping over back alley walls, my coat of fur ablaze under the cheery sun. I made my destination – Northern Choco Chihuahua Castle, to convene with Mia, Johnny, and Lucy. The air was brisk, our tails wagging in rhythm to the occasional hum of puppy love. A perfect day, or so I thought.

Just as I was leaving the Fetch-N-Bites with my lunch – a fine doggie ice cream – around the corner strut two steely-spined Bullmastiffs, armed with a badge, a smug smirk, and an accusatory wagging finger, “Caught red-fanged! Disturbing the peace of Bow Wow Bistro.”

Before I could even yelp, they hauled my tail to the Animal Shelter. They prattled on about ‘evidence’, something about me causing chaos at Bow Wow Bistro. I’ve been to the place, sure, but only ever enjoyed a peaceful midday munch.

From my cell, I could just about make out the Chihuahua Castle, where my pals resided, oblivious to my predicament. I couldn’t allow myself to rust within this godforsaken place. I had to make an escape; a furlong of freedom.

Capitalising on my breed’s agility, my steadfast resolve, and my nifty soccer skills, I hatched a plan. Every dull-witted Bulldog guard knew of my passion for soccer. So, when they tossed a ball into my cell to keep me occupied, I saw my chance.

I punted the ball skywards with all the might my little paws could muster. It crashed into the feeble lantern hanging overhead, plunging the place into darkness.

“Power out!” one of the Bulldog bark, uncertainly.

Time, I figured, to put my Jack Russell agility to the true test. Amid outcry and chaos, I squeezed through the bars of my cell, sprinted down the long corridor, towards the light – and freedom.

Once outside, I tailinged it to The Snooty Snout Boutique. There, I found Lucy, worry crawling all over her. She’d already gathered the others and staged a protest outside the shelter!

“You ol’ rascal! Clearly playing all that soccer did come in handy,” Lucy grumbled with a twinkle in her eyes whilst wordlessly handing me a ‘Welcome Back’ pupcup.

Just as I was about to take a lick, along comes Mia, holding onto a piece of crumpled newspaper, “Louie, look, it was a Pekinese…not a terrier.”

So, my name was cleared (and not a moment too early!). As for the Pekinese offender, I do hope she loves soccer too. After all, what is life without a little fetch?

The End.