“Hey Grams, just another day in Spencerville. Took stroll on the Boardwalk, smelt some delish Pup-Tastic Pizza, saw Spencer tangled in a mess of baked goods (LOL moment!) Got ambushed by a vacuum beast from the sky! Used my frisbee to save the day – major applause from everyone. Now off to Fur Tacos for victory dinner. Life’s never dull here. Love, your heroic, frisbee-wielding Bulldog, Fat Russell”

Listen to the story here.

So there I was – the jolly rogue that is Fat Russell, strolling along Bullmastiff Boardwalk with all the moxie of a bulldog prime in his years. The skies over Dalmatian Desert glowed with the fiery orange of a sunset, reflecting off the shimmering blue of my trusty frisbee.

Catching a whiff of Pup-Tastic Pizza wafting from a nearby window, I squinted my droopy eyes, my belly suddenly reminiscent of the wonderful times I had indulged in corned beef and Philly cheesesteaks. I missed those days even though a whopping slice of Spencerville’s deluxe cheese pizza was never a dull choice.

A vibrant hubbub from the crowd up ahead disrupted my culinary daydreams. It seems Spencer, ever the cheeky little prankster, had managed to entangle himself in a basket of ‘bark-ery’ goods from the Pawsome Pancakes. I couldn’t help but chuckle; the sight was undeniably hilarious.

Just when I started heading towards the excitement, an ominous rumble echoed through the sky, and a monstrous vacuum cleaner descended from the clouds, spewing terrifyingly loud noises. It was as if every dog’s worst nightmares had combined to form this towering beast of horror – a monstrosity that neither ear cleaning nor vet visits could hold a candle to.

Then, an idea bright as a freshly cleaned water bowl dawned upon me. Remembering the odd fascination these creatures had with anything round, I reached for my trusty frisbee. My paw tightened around its familiar, weather-beaten edge. As much as I loved basking in the sun and meandering in city parks – this was definitely not the time or the place!

Drawing upon every ounce of courage a hefty English Bulldog could muster, I launched the frisbee straight into the swirling vortex of the vacuum beast. With a ‘whoosh’ and a ‘whirl’, the frisbee whizzed past me, bouncing off its monstrous eyes. In a heartbeat, the creature was engulfed in an explosion of dust particles and was sucked back into the vortex, vanishing like an unsavory beef jerky.

As the dust settled, I basked in the cheers and wagging tails, delighting in the milk bones being flung at me from every direction. There I was – Fat Russell, the hefty yet handsome hero of Spencerville, saving the day with nothing but my charm, grit, and a well-thrown frisbee.

You see, dear reader, life in Spencerville is quite the adventure. After all, where else could a bulldog battle a vacuum beast while still looking forward to a slap-up meal at Fur Tacos later that evening?
I chuckled while squeezing between cheering pets, after all, I am Fat Russell, the master of my life. And ours is a tale worth telling, even in a town as peculiar as Spencerville.

The End.