“Dad, me and the Bones Brigade went for a nighttime spin to try the tasty Triple-Cheese Special at the Bark Shak. Got a bit hairy with some rowdy Alsatians but the Pawsburg Patrol sorted it out. Living life on the edge, fur in the wind, cheeseburger in belly. Don’t wait up for me.😉 Willie (aka Wonkavator)”

Listen to the story here

Oh, boy. The bells of Pawsburg Town Hall were ringing, signalling the hour of covert pup-fun-time. I, Willie Wonka, the charmingly traditional English Bulldog with an unorthodox palate, could barely contain myself. I mean sure, I wasn’t big on crowds and stuff, but Pawsburg was different, you know? It was like our secret night Disneyland minus the chaos of city life.

My gang and I, The Bones Brigade, made up of moi, Bake, and little Lilly had a mission tonight. I was curled up with my beloved toy monkey, visions of vanilla ice cream and candies enhancing my pre-adventure dreams, when I was jolted awake. Loud noises, can’t stand them. Disturbs my peace, you know?

Bake and Lilly were outside my window, ready with their shiny doggie-bikes. Yeah, you read that right. We had motorcycles, and not just the squeaky-toy ones your human toddlers ride. Real, heavy-metal motorcycles from the Snooty Snout Boutique. You’d be surprised what you can buy with a stash of treats and a well-placed wag.

Our mission was, of course, gastronomical in nature. The Bark Shak was launching their new “Triple-Cheese Special”, a tantalizing beef patty cooked into three layers of rich, juicy cheese. It matched perfectly with my offbeat love for cheeseburgers, but shhhh…don’t tell the dog dieticians.

Whizzing past Golden Gate Gardens, under the twinkling stars, unseemly for my usual laid-back self, was pretty refreshing. You know, living life at the edge, wind in your fur, friends by your side.

We parked our bikes outside The Bark Shak. Lilly, the sneaky little Pug, had this tactic down. A couple of well-timed yaps, and the Manager, who was awfully fond of her, would sneak us the delicious noms.

As we dug into our burgers, under the ever-watchful night, a loud growl echoed. Immediately following, a rowdy crew of Alsatians, calling themselves the “Silver-Siberian Sirens”, charged into The Bark Shak. They too, it seemed, were drawn by the Triple-Cheese Special.

Listen, I’m not a pet psychologist, but when a bunch of unfamiliar dogs charged at me, it wasn’t pretty. My heart pounded against my ribs. The Manager got involved, and suddenly, it was chaos.

“No onions, no shrimps!,” I exclaimed in utter desperation, my words drowning in the frenzy. Yes, I admit, it was just a whirl of fur and teeth at this point. I squealed for Bake and Lilly. Time to exit, I thought, backing towards our bikes.

Just in time, the Pawsburg Patrol showed up. The Silver-Siberian Sirens were quickly tamed, the peace of Pawsburg restored. We managed to slip away, our bellies full and our hearts pumping with adrenaline.

But, wait till dad hears of this. On second thought, let’s keep it our secret- the spectacular stories of Pawsburg, population us, your average, run-of-the-mill, motorcycle-riding, cheeseburger-loving dogs.

The End.