“Hey Ma, just boycotting this blasphemous banana in my food at Dogabone Diner. I promise to lead the revolution for tastier, golden, fishy-cracker goodness, one paw at a time. Ur Small Rebellion Knight, Kirb.”

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My days now found me easing into the cushioned reclining chair in the Dogabone Diner, a sort of pastiche fusion cuisine joint, in dear old Spencerville. Kirby, ever the bulldog, tried to get at the root of all matters, and at that moment, it was the endless riddle regarding the odd conundrum of existence in Spencerville. It seems he had developed a resentful vendetta against the Diner Chef who had the temerity, the absolute audacity, to serve bananas in his food.

“We’re dogs, you know? And to my knowledge, dogs absolutely abhor bananas,” Kirby postulated, glaring at the mellow sphere that sat on his plate. It was a stand-off of biblical proportions, a white bulldog and yellow banana. All of Spencerville held its breath.

Now, you might wonder why Kirby didn’t just vigilante his way into the kitchen and rectify this culinary miscreation. It’s a fair question, but there’s a certain elaborate code that we all adhere to in Spencerville. Culinary code, don’t get it twisted. One does not simply waltz into the Dogabone’s kitchen and, you know, ‘cook things up.’

At heart, Kirby was an artist, a culinary artist of sorts, that is, if replacing bananas with nutritious goldfish crackers constitutes art, and who am I to argue? He plotted his grand revenge day by day, his mind buzzing with tactics more potent than his contagious barks.

“One day,” he’d say, his gaze intent on the mustard-stained bun, “I’ll make a stand for all of us, against the invasion of those slippery wish-givers.”

I watched, bemused at such dedication. Kirby, always the faithful knight, ready to charge at the gates of Hell with only a goldfish cracker in his valiant paw. A small white bulldog against a culinary mistake, to avenge his brethren, rescue his taste buds, and rectify food for dogs everywhere. To that I say, Rebel on Kirby, Rebél on.

The End.