“Hey Dad, your Little Slice of Angel Pie got lost in a desert with Uncle Geoff – better navigator than lettuce (low bar, really). Bears and sand dunes, comedic struggles, and a voyage at sea. Now back in Pawsburg, home sweet home. Life tip: Lettuce or a desert, it’s all about perspective. Also, never underestimate sand-bone toys. Love, Holly.”

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“Strange town, Pawsburg…it’s as if Escher undertook town planning as a hobby. But I’ll tell you, the place has a charm about it…” I, Holly, English Bulldog of simple tastes and stubborn nature, thus began my odd odyssey of survival in the doggy wonderland of Pawsburg.

“Night had fallen, which, in our dogfolk’s world, meant the grand meet at the Shih Tzu Stadium, replacing the monotonous therapy sessions with my bone smeared generously with peanut butter. It started off as any other ordinary night; admirers, Aunt Sue, Uncle Ron distributing doggy donuts…until the earth shook. It rumbled and grumbled, splitting open right under my paws, swallowing us into eerie darkness…”

“When I woke up, lo and behold…there I was, stranded in the middle of the Tan Dalmatian Desert. Devoid of my backyard bliss, I was now amidst endless sand dunes. I gulped, not a lettuce- equivalent sight for a basic food-lover like me…”

“While I wouldn’t say I’m fond of social get togethers, I realized, being a lone dog in the desolation of desert sand,…well, it looks like loneliness can be hungry work…And this was no time for stubbornness, darling. I bit my metaphorical paw and teamed up. With who, oh you ask? Well, Uncle Geoff, who apparently used to be a sailor…or so he said, between his constant chewing on the gritty sand and disgruntled bickering about the disappearance of Doggy Bagel Deli.”

“Working together wasn’t, well, easy, if I may… Geoff’s ear-cleaning obsession, coupled with my distaste for it, created a humorless comedy. Sand isn’t all bad though, it’s better than a lettuce bed. Shall I say, liiiiiittle bit less stuck-up than Pawsburg?

“Visit Pet Partners for supplies…sounds much like a fantasy when you’re solely surrounded by sand. We crafted sand-bone toys, slightly uncomfortable under my belly, but a dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do, right? The stubborn in me sparkled, much to Uncle Geoff’s delight. The days wore on, initiations wearing thin, yet fueled by the sole focus of Survival. Fetch! Toys. No, survival. Yes, survival.”

Finally, the day arrived, or as Uncle Geoff called it, “The Bath Day”. I loathed him for it, but between you and me, that was the best thing that ever happened since the great split.

A bath…in the open sea, the soap bubbles carried our hopes. As Geoff said, he might have been a sailor, but surely he was a horrendous navigator…We landed…on the shores of Pawsburg, just in time for Doggy Donuts at Whiskers and Wings. Home, Sweet Home!”

“But believe me, listen to this wisdom from an ol’ Bulldog – lettuce or a desert, it’s all a perspective. Even in the direst of situations, you can find a way to work together and survive. It might appear I learned less about survival and more about lettuce, but let me tell you, lettuce and survival…there ain’t much difference, darling!”

The End.

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