“Hey Ma and Pa, it’s Bruce the Bully here. Just thwarted an alien invasion in Bulldog Bay, no biggie. Your boy kept his cool, defended Spencerville with a couple of Maltesers and iced cubes from Furrific before said aliens vanished. Hope they’re not too allergic to grooming salons, yikes! Anyway, off to rescue my ball with Ollie Bob and then whisk Lil Dot away for our date at the pet store. All in a day’s work, right? Love – Bruce.”

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“Oh, for the love of rawhide and chew toys! They’re cute and all, but I don’t think these alien furballs are just here for the Spencerville scenery,” I looked at Ollie Bob, my eyes round with confusion and curiosity. I mean, come on, I’m a bulldog not a rocket scientist.

I’m Mr. Bruce. Yeah, that’s me, the handsome white bulldog with those three charming tan spots on my ears and my distinctive black flecks proudly displayed below my lower lip. Look into my brown eyes and you’ll see sophistication, adventure, and a little love for a well-cooked steak.

I call Spencerville home, Bulldog Bay to be specific, my stomping grounds when I’m not busy tugging on my dad’s red suede welding gloves or launching an attack on my defenseless orange rubber ball.

I’d just seen them when I was enjoying Paws-A-Latte, my favorite joint in town. A bunch of extra-terrestrial canines, floating around, checking out Shepherd Skyline or maybe heading to Furrific Fried Chicken for some fine dining. Who knows with aliens?

“Ollie,” I called after my best bud, “I think this is beyond us, wouldn’t you say?” Ollie just barks in his poetic little way, wagging his tail. Maybe he thinks it’s a new mailman for him to chase off the block. Lil Dot, my main squeeze, just giggles.

Faced with a real alien invasion, I let my bulldog instincts take over, the same ones that got me through that messy tumor operation—I still got the scar to prove it! All ten centimeters of it, stitched up like a leather wallet. I set my jaw, ready to tackle anything these intergalactic furries brought to our peaceful town. Except swimming, no way was I doing to do any swimming.

I quickly formed a plan, armed with Maltesers—still not sure why they’re not making these for dogs yet—and ice cubes fresh outta Furrific and ready to keep me cool under this new, alien pressure.

But by the time I’ve geared up, those aliens are long gone, anticlimactically just vanished into thin air. Maybe they got a whiff of the grooming salon at Silver Siberian Summit and wisely jetted off back to their galactic home. Now that’s an adventure I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, dunked in a tub and dried with a blower machine. The horror!

So there they went, leaving the Earth just as quickly as they’d come. Spencerville was safe again, my bravery ensured it, thank you very much!

But let’s be real, it was just another day here in Spencerville for Mr. Bruce. Where else would space dogs go anyway? We got the finest kibble in the universe here. Plus, any town with a burger joint named Whiskers and Wings is gonna draw some otherworldly attention, right? Now come on, Ollie Bob, let’s go fish out that ball of mine before it’s time for our date with Lil Dot at the Fetching Feline Pet Emporium.

The End.

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